Double Vision

Zephyr Chairman George Nash today said he was comfortable if the club took a while to come up with a new vision after achieving the status of top indoor club in lunch time football by heading the table without playing. "I've heard a few suggestions that we should win the league to fulfil the vision" said Nash " but when Rovers created that vision they were getting beaten by ten goals in Division 7 by the likes of Infinity, so topping the table seems like pretty much the vision achieved to me". Ironically that same Infinity team is now a fellow Division 1 team. "I don't think Rovers fear Infinity after beating them previously in a semi-final" said Nash "but you can be certain we respect every team in the league". Rovers will now have to wait eleven days for their opening Division 1 fixture. "As far as the vision goes we might even go for two" said Nash "and start a corporate trend in having double vision".

Don't Dream It's Over

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) revealed this afternoon he was ecstatic that Zephyr Rovers had achieved their vision of being the best team in Wellington by the 30 June 2030. "Yesterday we were promoted to Division 1 and today we were defaulted to by the defending champions to give us the three points and put us on top of Division 1 for at least three days" exclaimed Hall "apparently the champs are on a piss trip to Brisbane all week and the game couldn't be rearranged". Hall said he was elated to meet the vision of the club in just over a year since it was formed, and some twenty-three years ahead of schedule. "I know some will say we have climbed the mountain and should quit whilst we are ahead" said Hall "but I feel we should conduct one of those touchy feely management visioning exercises and with a bit of hand holding and a hug or two we should be able to come up with a new challenge". Hall said he had considering writing a book on achieving visions by fast track, but had been given legal advice that suggested the book could be mistaken as promoting hallucinogens. "I'm going to celebrate with a few quiets down the Thistle" said Hall.

It's Division 1

Wellington Indoor Sports confirmed this afternoon that Zephyr Rovers had been promoted to Division 1 after their impressive pre-season performances including the narrow loss to Division 1 runners up Mercer. "It's come as a bit of a shock to be 23 years ahead of the team plan to be promoted to Division 1" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but that gives us a few years to consolidate before we become the best team in Wellington Indoor football". Hall said he immediately commenced talks with Craig Candy (pictured) about upping his match time for the club. "I had a talk to the lad about achieving better balance in his life, that is more football time" said Hall "and he'll make a formidable pairing with Matty and none of the other squad members are slouches either". Hall said the club was now better equipped to handle the absence of key defenders Hussey and White. "If we grab a few points then I expect we'll have Ben and Eddie back later in the season" said Hall "and you can't complain with a core squad of Nash, Cao, McIntosh, Boxall and of course me". Hall said the first season would be one of consolidation and a top four spot would be a bonus. "We'll be happy in season one to learn the ropes and pick up a few wins" said Hall.

Zephyr Sponsorship

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash today confirmed that Zephyr Consulting has agreed to renew their sponsorship for the coming season starting next week. "I think Zephyr Consulting have certainly got some visibility of their brand from being associated with Rovers" said Nash "and I think it is fair to say Zephyr Rovers have been noticed on the indoor scene". Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said only on Monday he overheard someone saying "Who is that grey team?". Hall said at first he thought it was a spectator referring to Col's beard but then he realised it turned out it was an ignoramus mixing up Silver and Grey.

"We're proud to be associated with Zephyr and we think we have an alignment in that we're both winners" said Hall "and I know the Chairman had a few quiets with our sponsor representative Graeme McInteer (pictured) to celebrate clinching the deal". Hall said he hoped the partnership would long continue and Rovers were well on track to meet their vision of being the best indoor team in Wellington by 30 June 2030. "We might be in Division one as soon as next week" said Hall "23 years ahead of schedule".

Rough Stuff

Wellington Indoor Sports announced yesterday that Zephyr Rovers was one of the teams to watch when they described Rovers as one of eight teams that pop up in referee reports about teams. "I was flabbergasted" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we're a pretty clean team since Charlie and Chris left and whilst we've had the odd discussion with a referee, I can't recall it ever being abusive". Hall said he was even more perplexed when hearing that "that guy with the grey beard is your worst offender". Hall said he thought Colin McIntosh (pictured) was one of the elder statesmen of the league and if anything looked presidential. "I was gob-smacked especially as we'd had a bit of rough stuff against us in the last game" said Hall "and Col was as quiet as a lamb".

White Knight Returns

Ben White made an unexpected return to the Rovers today against Division 6 strugglers Jacques Martin. White returned as goalkeeper and would have kept a clean sheet if it had not been for one ripper of a shot that rocketted into the corner. "It was good to have Ben back in the team and he proved he could do everything including keep goal" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "one of their guys was trying to drill holes with the ball in the back wall and it was inevitable that he'd hit the net by mistake eventually".

Hall said the game was something of a cruise after Matty Cantwell scored early goals. "We went in 4 - 0 up by half time and I never saw them as having a chance to get back into it" said Hall "but they resorted to a bit of push and shove in the second half to try and gain some traction, but it didn't work". Hall left his shooting boots at home and although he got two, he could have had seven or eight. "I give credit to their keeper, one of the best we've played against" said Hall "he came off his line quicky and and a defender clobbered you from behind if you hesitated".

Final: Rovers 9 Jacques Martin 1

Five For Two

Zephyr Rovers will have only five of their line up available for their 2 pm match tomorrow against lower division opponents Jacques Martin. "This is the last run out before the season starts and we're treating it as a light training run" said Zephyr Manager Steve Hall "but we will have to look to recruit a new player if Ben White (pictured) doesn't reappear by next week". Hall said that with Hussey moving to Europe for the rest of the winter, he was hoping White would be back before too many games went by. "We want to do well again Division 3 presuming we don't get promoted" said Hall "and we think Ben will be a useful player to help both our defence and attack". Hall said the match at the Shed of Dreams would still be an interesting challenge and Rovers was still aiming to win it.

One George Town

Zephyr Rovers Player Chairman George Nash welcomed George Dos Santos Paladini to the Wellington Phoenix squad and confirmed that whilst he thought there was was room enough for two big name players in town going under the playing name of George, he'd consider a change to avoid confusion. "I think people can see the similarities between us as he is a Brazilian striker in the outdoor game and I'm a . . . well you know". Nash said that he was aware the new Phoenix player used the playing name of George and confirmed that he was considering other options for his indoor playing name. "The Manager seems to think my playing name is Get Back and Cover George but frankly I think that is too long to read well in the Dominion" said Nash "so I've been looking at Nashy as an alternative or maybe Nasho or Georgie". Nash said he'd be running the ideas by marketing Manager Heather Fernandes before making a final decision.

Half Time Entertainment

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash (pictured) today bemoaned the lack of half time entertainment at the Shed of Dreams. "We think Wellington Indoor Sports could be doing more to provide the crowds with entertainment at half time during our matches" said Nash "we think there is thirty seconds there that could be utilised by say scantily clad cheerleaders, a move bound to attract more punters to the venue". Rovers appear to be one of the few indoor teams that regularly attract a spectator. "We're leading the league in this area and perhaps we should just get on and organise something" said Nash "I'm thinking of doing some ball juggling as unlike outdoor, the indoor game has the novelty that the ball not to go above waist height". Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said that whilst Nash juggling a ball might have a market appeal he'd heard that Nash had a comedy routine with a floppy hat that was "something else".

Hussey Goneburger

Zephyr defender Eddie Hussey has confirmed he is out for the game on Monday at the Shed of Dreams. "That's it now for most of the season for Eddie so we'll have to get by without him" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Hall "we'll be hoping that Ben White will be back from injury shortly to fill in one of the defensive roles". Hall said that the team as a whole was playing quite well defensively as other players got a taste of the back two positions. "I think you definitely need a while to adapt to the role as you only ave to leave an attacker with a slight bit of space and the ball is in your net" said Hall. It is likely that Rovers will need to recruit another player or two for the coming season. "So far Man Yoo have got all the players I wanted" said Hall "but we're after a skillful player who can turn out regularly".

Second Half Blitz

Zephyr Rovers were slow out of the blocks today at the Shed of Dreams and soon found themselves down 3 - 0 to old rivals Solnet. "We started of on half a tank of gas but fortunately picked up momentum to get back in it 5 - 5 at half time" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall.

The second half saw a transformation with Rovers playing some of the best football of recent times. "I think what was good about the second half is we had both the wizardry of Matty Cantwell's (pictured) bag of tricks" said Hall "but also some dazzling team moves that left Solnet chasing solutions to our attacking prowess". Eight goals sailed into the Solnet goal without reply in the second half and in goal Manager Hall set up a billy and had a cup of tea. "I think I had a couple of saves in the second half but mainly it was trying to control the distribution so that we could break quickly". Hall said one goal where four quick passes went from keeper to opposition net stood out. "I don't think you see better goals than that one" said Hall "I only wished I'd scored it".

Final: Rovers 13 Solnet 5

Cao Contract Puzzler

Striker turned utility John Cao was tonight involved in contract discussions with the Rovers management after being asked to wear the new club socks. "The lad doesn't think black suits his complexion" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and apparently he is keen to show of his legs to full effect to his female followers". Rovers only recently took possession of the socks, the final parts of the Zephyr uniform. "We're not going to make the wearing of socks compulsory at this point" said Hall "although we think the team will look more professional if we turn out in the full kit". Cao could not be contacted for comment but was understood to be investigating whether he could wear designer jewelry on court as this was currently against the rules. "I think fame has gone to his head" quipped Hall.

Rovers play old enemy Solnet on Wednesday in the Shed of Dreams.

File That One

Zephyr Rovers Director of Football Nikki File (pictured) today confirmed she had ambitions within the Zephyr Rovers club. "I think I've taken this Director of Football role about as far as it can go" said File "and I'd like a tilt at George's job as Chairman as it looks like a fun role and seems to involve lots of drinking". File said she didn't want to talk about her achievements as Director of Football other than pointing out the trophy cabinet had a couple of trophies in it. "I think the Manager and Chairman get a lot of the credit publicly, but I work away in the background and I think my role makes a difference" said File. Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said it was great that File had ambition as Rovers was a club going places. "Nikki's hasn't actually made an appearance on the park for the club yet" said Hall "but she's definitely a prospect for deputy chairperson if we ever have such a role".

Candyman Can't

The future of the "candyman" Craig Candy was in doubt today as the player was yet again unavailable for a Rovers match. "There's no doubt that Craig has the pedigree for the team" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but all the skills in the world aren't a lot of use to the team if you never actually play". Candy has so far had just one outing for the club but has otherwise been unavailable for the club. "We're still hopeful that Craig will improve his availability" said Hall "it's clear that Steve Boxall has achieved the transition and he's now turning out regularly for the side". Candy has had a meteoric football career from Hull to Miramar, and currently is assistant manager for Miramar first team. "It's potentially a good stepping stone to Rovers management" said Hall "but we're playing at a different level than those guys and the transition to indoor management only comes when you've had time on the pitch".

Cao Fan Club Mooted

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash said today that the club was thinking of setting up a fan club for John Cao after the player had received a lot of attention recently. "I'm not sure if it was Eddie's announcement that he was off overseas that did it" said Nash "but the lad seems to be getting a lot of females attention lately, although he's yet to be seen out on the town with a gaggle of nurses like Hussey". Cao said he was flattered by the attention he had been getting and said he wasn't sure what had been getting him the attention. "I think the lad should focus on his football" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "I think he's getting a bit carried away and he's taken to wearing fancy football shoes and it's noticeable that he has a female contingent watching him at every game". Cao said he had no comment at this stage and wanted to score a few more times before he'd be satisfied with his performance.

Boxall Steps Up

Steve Boxall today confirmed he was stepping up his commitment to Rovers as he realised he needed a better "football work balance". Boxall said the lure of fame and fortune with TV commercials had worn a little thin and he now realised football was a potential path to fame and glory, and Zephyr Rovers had the ambition to help him achieve his personal goals. "We're glad the lad has seen sense" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "I think Steve has realised finally how important football is to a balanced body and mind". Hall said Boxall would inevitably achieve fame with Rovers as it was a club that was going places. "Rovers blog site is regularly viewed in exotic places like Perth and Staines in West London" said Hall "and I imagine Steve will be have trouble walking down Lambton Quay by the time we achieve our vision in 2030". Hall said he himself already had trouble walking down the street without being impeded.

Vision Remains The Same

Zephyr Chairman George Nash said today that the board had reconsidered the club goal of being the best team in Wellington indoor football by 30 June 2030 after the close loss to Division 1 runner up Mercer. "We're looking to be about twenty years ahead of where we should be" said Nash "but we think a note of caution is necessary as we don't want to peak too soon". Nash said the board would be happy if Rovers hit the target before 30 June 2030 and had considered bringing the date forward to 31 March 2030 in recognition of the progress made too date. "I think we're better to leave the vision as it is and just see how we go over the next twenty years" said Nash "and if we win Division 1 before then then all so well and good. Nash said player recruitment might be the next issue as players with the "right quality for the squad" were becoming harder to find.

Cao The Cat

Zephyr Rovers today took on the might of Division 1 finalists Mercer with new goal keeping sensation John "the Cat" Cao finding a new role for himself between the sticks. Cao who only the previous week had been forced to go in goal by the referee, continued where he left off with his great form in the previous match. "It was a big ask playing a top Division 1 team but John certainly flew around between the posts" said Zephyr Chairman George Nash who unexpectedly made the starting line up. Nash said Zephyr made the usual slow start but then came back with some flowing football. "We traded shot for shot in that firs half and it was all tied at half time" said Nash "but we lost Eddie through injury which made it even tougher in the second half". Nash said the game went right down to the wire and was not settled until the last minute when Mercer were given a penalty when Rover exceeded the five foul limit. "They slotted the penalty to take us out by a single goal" said Nash "but they knew they'd had a game and we can be proud of that effort against topped ranked opposition". In another game Division 3 winner Hayden's destroyed another team by 16 - 7.

Final: Rovers 6 Mercer 7

Let's Go - McIntosh In Charge

Zephyr Rovers are without Manager Steve Hall and Chairman George Nash for their first up grading game tomorrow at the Shed of Dreams. "We've only got five starting players and have nominated Col as Manager for the day" said Hall "but we're still thinking the boys will put up a reasonable display providing they find someone to fill the difficult goalkeeper role". Hall said he have every confidence in McIntosh and he could always be dropped if he didn't shape up. "It's a big step for me to take the helm of a team like Rovers" said Colin McIntosh of his promotion to the helm "but I'm confident I can rotate everyone else through the keeper role to keep myself away from it". McIntosh said he expected the demands of being player manager for a day would be demanding enough without playing in goal. "I know Steve manages it" said McIntosh "but he's a little different than your average player and something of a legend".

Augie Auer Dies

Zephyr Rovers Manager offered condolences tonight to the Auer family after Augie Auer died on his birthday and 35th wedding anniversary in Melbourne. "We're all in great shock and feeling for our Rovers team mate Andy" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "Augie was well known to us all through his television work and this is a very sad day". Hall said he was sure the thoughts of all the team were with Andy and his family and he hoped that Rovers would be able to mark their respects in some way at the game on Wednesday. "I'm not sure when the funeral is at this point" said Hall "but I hope the teams will be able to have a few moments of silence before the match".

Rovers Take Stick

Zephyr Rover Chairman George Nash was this evening deflecting criticism on the Rover publicity machine publishing photos of a nurse on the Rovers blog. "I'm at a loss to know what all the fuss is about" said Nash "we thought it was a photo of the new Mrs Hussey although I accept now it might be a photo of another Hussey". Nash said the club had never made suggested that Eddie Hussey (pictured) was off to Ireland to get shacked up with a nurse. "The club emphatically denies any such suggestion" said Nash "in fact our official position is that Eddie should continue to play the field, the football field that is". Hussey could not be contacted to discuss the issue but was believed to be neither confirming or denying the speculation. "The lad wants to focus on the first grading game on Monday " said Nash "he's leaving me to think about about the nurses".

Night Nurse Hussey

Eddie Hussey would not be drawn this afternoon on whether any of his entourage of nurse friends was accompanying him to Ireland to become Mrs Hussey. "He's not giving away on any clues on this" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we've been inundated with enquiries from nurses all over town asking whether Eddie has finally taken the plunge". Hall said he hadn't heard any rumours at all of the type swirling around in the media. "As far as I know he's just off for a break to the Northern Hemisphere" said Hall "I would suggest the nursing population of Wellington doesn't read to much into it as he'll be back". Hall rejected suggestions that the Zephyr Rovers blog was trying to get a few cheap hits by having the photo of a nurse alongside the story. "We're not adverse to innovative recruitment techniques" said Hall.

White Consults Specialists

Ben White has been consulting specialists over his leg injury but is still hoping to return for the regular season matches in about three weeks. "The club is fully behind his treatment programme" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we're giving him the best support that the public health system can give a player". Hall said with the imminent departure of Eddie Hussey on an Irish excursion, the Rovers defensive stocks were looking a bit thin. "The defensive side of the game in indoor is so crucial" said Hall "any team that can keep the opposition down to less than five goals will usually win". Hall said the seven all draw in the last game showed what a fine margin a win was from a draw or loss. "We were a bit loose defensively at the start" said Hall "and it turned what would I think have been an easy win into a struggle".

Hussey On Euro Scouting Mission

Eddie Hussey (pictured) today advised Zephyr Rovers Manager he would miss much of the coming season due to a trip to Europe. "Eddie said he'll be back for the semi-finals so that's good enough for me" said Hall "and there is always the possibility he can do a bit of scouting over there for new talent". Hall said with Ben White still out for a few weeks a rethink of the defensive strategy might be required. "I think there is no doubt that we play our best when Eddie and Ben are both in the team" said Hall "but I'm told the female population of Wellington will probably be missing Eddie even more than Rovers, he's been a celebrity ever since that chest hair shaving stunt". Hall said he was still looking confidently at a top four spot in Division 3.

Rovers Draw

A slow start and some soft early G Shots contributed to a 7 - 7 draw today in the third place play off in the Shed of Dreams. "I dropped myself to the bench for the first ten minutes and I thought we lacked my yelling and screaming skills at the back" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and when I finally came on I banged in a couple of quick goals to help us catch up". Hall said Rovers didn't take this one too seriously as you can't peak for every game. "We didn't go all out for it and we wouldn't normally let in seven goals to a side like this" said Hall "but I think we all know we could have done better today although a draw was a fair result really". Hall said he was looking forward to the grading games now as it was a chance to have a few matches against different teams. "We want another campaign in Division 3 - so we'll be looking to maintain our position without being too good and getting promoted" said Hall "it's consolidation time".

Final: Rovers 7 G Shots 7

Hall Makes Surprise Return

The absence of Steve Boxall on a trip to the mainland has seen the surprise return of Zephyr Rovers manager Steve Hall (pictured) for the third/fourth play off tomorrow. "I'm carrying a bit of an injury to be honest" said Hall "so I'll probably start myself on the bench and not come on until I'm needed". Hall said he might have a stint in goal but would probably start George Nash there and see how it goes. "Nobody really wants to play in a play off for third as it is a meaningless fixture" said Hall "so we're really just treating it as a grading game at this point". Hall is also without his contact lenses as he broke one accidentally late last week. "I played outdoor on Saturday and scored a cracker goal without being able to see much" said Hall "so there is a school of thinking I play better when I can't see than when I can".

Nash In Charge

Zephyr Chairman George Nash confirmed today that he would be taking the helm for the third fourth play-off against the G Shots at the Shed of Dreams on Wednesday. "I've been working out the tactics using beer bottles for goals" said Nash "and I've discovered I'm quite good between the sticks". Nash said he understood Hall would be attending an important business meeting at some swanky restaurant. "I know he's got an eye to next season" said Nash "but we've got to secure third place now as our benchmark for next season". Nash predicted Rovers would be too good for the G Shots. "We'll be fired up after that penalty shoot out loss" said Nash "and we don't think G Shots have the firepower to stay with us"

Hall Says Six More Years

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said today that he was heartened by Glen Hoddle's comments that David Beckham could play on for another six or seven years. "I know Glen (pictured) isn't exactly famous for his wisdom but I think he is on to something here" said Hall "if a slower player like Beckham can play on then I must have another six years in me yet". Hall said he realised he'd have to eventually move from player manager to full time football management as his fiftieth birthday was looming. Hall said he wanted to continue at least as long as the late Sir Stanley Mathews who always said he retired "too early" at the age of 50. Hall reacted to comments that great players don't make good managers. "I agree with Roy Keene's comments when asked about whether he'd make a great manager" said Hall "he said he'd never been a great player".

Smith Sees Recall For Himself

Zephyr Rovers Australian Scout Charlie Smith said he was certain the return of David Beckham to the England team would influence the selections of indoor teams like Zephyr Rovers. "I know many people think I have an uncanny resemblance to David Beckham with my suave good looks" said Smith "and like him I often feel my abilities on the field are underestimated by management". Smith said he could see himself recalled from Australia to play on the Rovers right side. "I know the goal I scored from inside my own half a few seasons back lives on in the memories" said Smith "and like Beckham I rate my right foot as a weapon that opposition teams have difficulty comprehending". Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had no immediate plans to recall Smith from Australia. "Smith certainly has attributes that aren't found in our current squad" said Hall "and hopefully we can keep it that way".

Thistle Knees Up

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had a few quiets this evening at the Thistle establishment in the company of several Wellington Phoenix luminaries including Terry Seripisos (pictured). "It's a very nice spot for a quiet beer on a Friday night and I can see why it is the official Yellow Fever pub" said Hall "and if Terry wants to bung us a wad of spare cash then I'm sure the boys could find creative ways to spend it". Hall said he didn't approach Seripisos about sponsorship as the team was fiercely loyal to Zephyr. "We're pleased to be under the Zephyr banner" said Hall "and we hope Zephyr will be sticking with us as official sponsor". Hall said he was prepared to nominate the Thistle as an official Rovers bar but admitted that the Black Harp would always be considered favourably as it was "about halfway back from Shed 1 at lunch time".