Big Sam Not In Plans

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash said this evening that he wasn't behind Big Sam's departure from Bolton. "I've built a perfectly good working relationship with Rovers Manager Steve Hall" said Nash "and beside Big Sam (pictured) has had a few question marks about him since that Panorama programme". Nash said that whilst Rovers wouldn't say no to an appearance on Close Up or Sunday, he thought that there would be a shortage of offers for 'bungs' at Rovers to attract a top class manager. "You don't see the level of bungs at this club that a top flight manager would expect" said Nash "although we wouldn't be averse to taking the odd backhander if some kind billionaire wanted to off load a bit of loose change". Nash said the coverage of indoor by Television New Zealand was scandalous. "I don't think we've been on TV once" said Nash "but the Horowhenua under ten rugby reserves have been on Heartland rugby about five times".

Going To The Zoo

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash today confessed that he and Eddie Hussey spent a nice afternoon at the zoo today. "I thought I'd spend a bit of quality time with the monkeys" said Nash "and I ran into Eddie who was apparently up there looking for a date". Nash said it was important as the Chairman of a successful indoor club to get away from the pressures of indoor football. "I know you can see Newtown Park from the Zoo and that Team Wellington have their after match functions there" said Nash "but for me it was a break from the demanding life as Chairman of Rovers". Nash said he doubted Rovers would take the Team Wellington lead and have their after match functions at the zoo. "The Black Harp gets a bit like a zoo at times" said Nash "but it has the advantage over the real zoo of being between the Shed of Dreams and work".

Zephyr Celtic

Zephyr FC Marketing Manager Heather Fernandes (pictured) proposed today that Zephyr Rovers change their name to Celtic for the match against Rothenbury Rangers. "I think we could sell a few tickets to the local Scots community for a Celtic versus Rangers match" said Fernandes "and I've heard their is a team in town that is wearing the Celtic hoops, so we could borrow the shirts for a day". Chairman George Nash said it was a stupid idea. "There is no way on Earth that anyone is getting me into a Celtic uniform" said Nash "I mean to say I even feel uncomfortable when I'm in the same stadium as a Celtic shirt". Nash said it was bad enough that the opposition was called Rangers, but it would be ten time worse if Rovers changed to Celtic.

Rovers Ready For Rothenbury Rangers

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said that Rovers would ready for Rothenbury Rangers when they played the third placed team next Wednesday at the Shed of Dreams. "I know George (pictured) is getting quite excited that we are playing a team called Rangers" said Hall "I think he'll go into spasms if it turns out they wear blue but I'll just sub him if that happens". Hall said Rangers were looking like a top four team but had drawn with Solnet in their last game. "There are no easy games in this league" said Hall "and this has to be one of the tougher matches we'll face". Hall said the long lay off with only one game in April hadn't been the best but the season was back on again with regular fixtures through to the semi-final now. "We're almost in the top four now but we don't want to coast to the line as we want to maintain our form" sad Hall.

Alan Ball - RIP

England Football legend Alan Ball died yesterday aged 61. Former Zephyr Rover Charles Smith had this to say about Ball. "Alan Ball was Pompey manager from 1984-89, and was the 1st manager I can remember at Pompey" said Smith "he got them promoted to the old 1st division in 1987 and was a huge favourite of the Fratton Park faithfull and that says something as he was a former Southampton player and later their manager" Ball was the youngest player of the 1966 World Cup final winning team and was player of the match in the final. Ball was capped 72 times by England.

It's Not Cricket

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed this morning that he didn't get up and watch the cricket semi-final this morning, as New Zealand crashed out of the World Cup. "I knew the cricket was on and had a peak at the channel for a minute or so, in which time New Zealand lost five wickets" said Hall "but otherwise I was busy watching Kaka (pictured) and Ronaldo slug it out in the Champions League". Hall said as a manager he had to keep up with as much football as he could. "If you want to be at the cutting edge of football management like myself" said Hall "you've got to watch as much football as you can on the tele". Hall said he might be able to take a few pointers from cricket. "They seem to have a better quality of sledging in cricket" said Hall "just that little bit cleverer than the sort of thing Charlie Smith used to scream out that involved various body parts".

Hussey Staying Put

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said today he'd heard nothing of a possible transfer of Eddie Hussey to the Phoenix FC. "I imagine the marketing boys over at Phoenix thought they'd hire Eddie in some capacity to bring in more female punters" said Hall "he's been consistently popular with Internet blog viewers ever since he did that topless photo a while back, and we regularly get Irish viewers to our web site". Hall said he'd be putting a transfer fee on Hussey that Phoenix were likely to baulk at. "The lads going nowhere as far as I'm concerned" said Hall "in fact we'd be happy to buy another Hussey or two if we could get our hands on them". Hall said with a holiday tomorrow he might get out and about looking for a Hussey or two but not until the Champions League had finsihed on the tele.