Chopper Retires

Colin "Chopper" McIntosh announced his retirement from all indoor football this afternoon after yet another injury stuck him down in the friendly game on Monday. "Chopper has been a great servant of the club" said Zephyr Rovers Chairmen George Nash "we believe he began playing about the time football was invented and he joined Rovers very early in the club's history". Zephyr Manager Steve Hall said Chopper would be sadly missed as he had taken over from Chris Riddle and Charlie Smith as the player referees loved to watch. "He certainly somehow acquired a reputation with the referees" said Hall "although I'll remember the goals from oblique angles, particularly the one he somehow squeezed in from on the line near the corner". Hall said the club would be pleased to offer Chopper a role in the back room. "We'd love to see him in the back room cleaning boots or something but he might find that a bit of a come down after a glittering career" quipped Hall.

Bankrupt

Zephyr Rovers opponents for the first grading round Kiwibank had one players available at kick off and defaulted the match to Rovers. "Seems like they didn't find out about the match until the morning of the game so their playing stock looked a bit bankrupt" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "so we played a selection of players from the previous match along with the one Kiwibank players and we won reasonably comfortably". Hall said he forgot his court shoes and mistakenly tried to play in his outdoor shoes with cleats. "I had to resort to wearing my socks after I came a guttser when I slipped over whilst diving" said Hall "it spilled a bit of blood on the court but I got through somehow". Hall said it was nice to have a relatively easy outing against lower league opposition.

Gone Down South For A While

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed he had managed to get through Christchurch to be able to conduct his quick tour of the South Island. "Our flight got held up for several hours and we finally got to Christchurch not much before midnight" said Hall "obviously as a football manager I'm used to a certain amount of attention on the road but overall it was quite quiet". Hall said he wasn't staying in Christchurch so he had had to hop in a rental car and hit the road. "I screamed down the highway south a little after 12.30am and the only other thing on the road was a seemingly endless stream of milk tankers" said Hall "I had thought of bringing Rovers down here on tour but judging from this trip there is no one down here except about three farmers, tend of thousands of dairy cows and about a hundred million sheep". Hall said it was good to get away from it all for a few days. "It is quite therapeutic fatting around the South Island in a Ford Falcon XR6 (pictured) for the weekend" Hall confirmed "but I'll be back tomorrow for the Rovers opening grading game against Kiwibank in Shed 6".

Hijack Hits Rovers Manager

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall was scheduled to fly to Christchurch this evening on a weekend visit to look at football talent in South Canterbury. "I've organised a game on a back lawn near Winchester in South Canterbury" said Hall "but news has just come through that a mad women has stabbed a pilot and Christchurch airport is in disarray". Hall said he didn't expect to pick up any new players from the trip but it was a good opportunity to get out of Wellington. "I"m scheduled to go down on a late flight but it might be even later now as the airport is closed due to a bomb threat" said Hall "I'm sure this women is just trying to get in the news by holding up the manager of a football team". Hall said he had yet to be rung for comment from the major networks. "I'm sure Larry King will be trying to get through" said Hall "but otherwise I'll be trying to sneak through Christchurch without being hassled by the media". Hall said as his sister owned JAM TV he would most likely be providing comment to her about his "Intrepid Journey".

Day Off

Zephyr Rovers had the day off today due to the Waitangi Day holiday but Zephyr Manager Steve Hall used the opportunity to test out his injured finger with a return to goalkeeper. "Shapeshifters had had a one win and four loss record going into this one so I figured they needed some help at the back" said Hall "but we also got a few young guys in and as a result we steamrolled the opposition by 15 - 3". Hall said he was pleased with his performance in gaol and was unbeaten during the match. "I didn't have that much to do to be honest so the finger didn't get tested too much" said Hall "and then I had a run outfield and scored with my first touch as I ran over half way straight from our own goal area"
Hall said the score showed him the merits of teenagers in the team with their speed and skill around the pitch. "We won't be getting any young guys in to Zephyr, but we might have to ask George Nash (pictured) to act more like a kid, that might be the best we can manager".

Back Between The Sticks

Zephyr Manager Steve Hall said he would return in goal this week for evening league team Shapeshifters managed by Rob Purcell (pictured). "It is time to test the finger in combat" said Hall "and with Rovers not playing I thought I'd try it out in another team before risking it in a Zephyr fixture". Hall said Shapeshifters had been getting a bit of a hammering of late so he was expecting plenty of shots to save. "I think if my finger survives this sort of challenge then a Rovers game shouldn't be too tough" advised Hall "even during a bad Rovers game we have some defence". Hall said however were circulating that Shapeshifters had signed some new players. "There's a chance yet this one could be a bit different than usual" suggested Hall "it might just be a Shapeshifters revival this one".

Going Nuts

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) admitted this evening that the complete lack of indoor football was driving him to nuts. "I know not being involved in the final series is bad enough in itself" said Hall "but going almost three weeks without a match is making me go mad, I'm in danger of volunteering for a game of Rugby just to get away from the TV". Hall said he was having a few back yard games but it just wasn't the same as letting loose in Shed 1. "It's great to let off a bit of steam in the Shed" said Hall "I've missed playing in goal and screaming at everyone".