Sacrifice for Hall

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed today he had nothing special planned for the weekend other than studying the form guide for Euro 2008 and planning where to watch the games. "I went out and bought the FourFourTwo guide and I'll have to study the form guide over the next week so I know which teams to watch" said Hall "it is not often appreciated the hours of dedication needed to watch a tournament like this so that I can glean the latest football trends to pass on to the Rover squad". Hall said it was a long and tiring job but he was prepared to make the sacrifice to get Rovers further ahead. "We don't want to leave any stone unturned in our quest to win Division 1 by 30 June 2030" said Hall "and if I can accelarate the process and win it by 2029 you know I'm going to go all out for it".

Whites Trounced

With a host of players away and Mystery Matt Cantwell (pictured) turning up a good ten minutes late, Zephyr Rovers still had too much firepower for first division Whites winning 11 goals to 3. "We hardly broke into a sweat really and I didn't even realise it was Whites until after the match" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "they looked more like a tenth division side to me". In another shock result, a new team Accme Strikers toppled Ten Left Feet with w 4 - 3 win. "I have to admit Jamie and I were playing in that one as well so it had a Zephyr flavour to it" said Hall "but it was still pretty awesome to beat them again with a different team". Hall said he couldn't see anything standing in the way now of Zephyr Rovers first division status. "We know there are some good teams up there" said Hall "but we fear no one at present and we certainly are worth a bet for top four if we confirm our place in the league".

Final: Rovers 11 Whites 3

Under The Kosh

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said Zephyr Rovers would be under the kosh tomorrow against mystery opponents at the Shed of Dreams. "We seem to have most of our players away either injured, ill or needing to be elsewhere" said Hall "so we might have to draft in a new player or two for this match". Hall said being under the kosh wasn't quite as bad as being under the knife. "George has a date with the surgeon this week and wouldn't you know all the newspaper has reported on all week is minor surgery that has gone wrong" said Hall "so whilst we'll be feeling the heat on the pitch poor old George will also be at the sharp end of a result". Hall said Rovers would certainly be competitive. "We'll be relying on Mystery Matt to show up" said Hall "and then it is just a matter of the five selcted players not getting injured until after full time".

Burn Off

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall denied this afternoon that Nigel Burn was set to leave the club. "Nigel was a major contributor to our championship winning season and the partnership he had at the back with Eddie Hussey in those play off games was a key part of our success" said Hall "but the truth is Nigel wants to rest his knees a bit so we might have to pick and choose which matches he actually plays in". Hall said team management would be trickier this season with a number of absences expected through injury, overseas trips and surgical operations. "We've not got the planner out yet to see when we might need extra players" said Hall "but if Graeme Little want a game then this would be a good time to get in touch with me". Hall said Rovers would always be keen to talk to quality players who would fit in to a Division 1 side. "We're not precious about who we sign" said Hall "we'd even sign a Welshmen if he could score five time a game, especially if his name was Giggs".

Chelski Slip Up

Zephyr Rovers manager Steve Hall declared the morning a success after he booking a table for ten to watch the Champions League final between Manchester United and Chelsea on Thursday morning. "After we beat Ten Left Feet the day before I thought it would be the perfect week if Manyoo won the title" said Hall "but I was counting on it being so close and it was fabulous when Terry missed that penalty". Hall said that it was rare to get a penalty in indoor and unheard of to import artificial turf for the surface. "We play indoor on concrete" said Hall "and even though it is covered with some sort of mat, it feels like sand paper on concrete when you fall over on it". Hall said Terry was paid more in a year than the entire Rovers squad. "It shows you can still miss an opportunity even when you're paid millions of dollars a year" said Hall "it makes my misses look quite cheap really".

Mystery Out Of His Shell

Zephyr Rovers comfortably beat Ten Left Feet today at the Shed of Dreams in the first grading game of the new season. "We knew drawing a top four Division 1 team from last season would be a big test" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we were quite pleased to find ourselves out to a 4 - 0 lead at half time without the opposition firing so much as a pop gun". Hall said the first half was quiet in goal and he'd kept himself busy studying the Euro 2008 draw. "They came out fighting in the second half and out a little pressure on us early on" said Hall "I think I made two saves before late in the game they sneaked on following a deflection to ruin my clean sheet". Hall said that it was a good match with Rovers dominant. "I feel Mystery Matty Cantwell (pictured) is coming out of his shell" said Hall "we saw half his face at one point today". Hall said Rovers had provided Ten Left Feet with a lesson in football and "we must be in Division 1 after that".

Final: Rovers 6 Ten Left Feet 1

Season In Review

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had to be pleased with the Division 2 title win and he was looking forward to returning to Division 1. "We were a bit hairy at the end of the Division 1 season the one before last" said Hall "so despite the odd poor performance in Division 2, we restored some faith in ourselves by winning the league". Hall said adding Jamie Johnson (pictured) had made a difference. "I was a bit concerned about adding a second Scotsmen to the squad but it has turned out alright" said Hall "Jamie seems to quite like his shirt and we've promised to give him the shorts and socks if he stays with the team". Pete Roberts also went from an occasional player to a regular. "Once Pete got that step over out of his system he really started to perform well consistently" said Hall "I think he has been spending hours watching video of Stevie Gerrard, although we had to confiscate the Cristiano Ronaldo tapes as they'd give him the wrong idea".

Black Eyed Smith

Former Rovers player Charlie Smith made the long trek from Perth to Wembley to see Portsmouth win the FA Cup against Cardiff. "This was a once in a life time opportunity and I just had to be there" said Smith "it was well worth the trip and I'll be back next year if when they defend it". Smith didn't get to get his mits on the trophy but got a take away reminder of his own. "I git a bit of a shiner after the match" said Smith "the result of some exuberant post-match celebrations". Smith not known for keeping his trap shut was nonetheless happy to have been their for the big occasion "and a black eye or three isn't going to stop be celebrating in the stlye the occasion deserves". It was unclear at the time of writing if Smith would make the return flight to Perth on time due to him being disoreinetated following excessive alcohol intake.

Celebrate

Zephyr Rovers celebrated the Division 2 Championship win this evening with a function at sponsor Zephyr Rovers. "We've been sponsored now for several seasons by Zephyr Consulting and we're very happy to have added the Division 2 trophy to their trophy cabinet" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and we certainly we hope to be adding the Division 1 trophy by 30 June 2030, if not before". Hall said it was important to celebrate winning championships and winning Division 2 was an important milestone on the way to a Division 1 title. "We've been away and regrouped and now we're ready to have a crack at the big time again" said Hall "but we'll have to do well in the grading games otherwise we might find our win doesn't count for much". Hall said several players would be away on overseas jaunts in the coming season as well as Goerge Nash going under the surgeons knife. "You know when you've got players away on overseas trips and getting medical procedures that you're starting to compete with the big boys" said Hall "now all we need is five physiotherapists like Man Yoo".

Division 2 Champions

Zephyr Rovers were crowned Division 2 Champions this morning at the Shed of Dreams after the skillfully dismantled the Don Logan FC team in a competitive final. "I knew we'd be up for the match because we didn't play them at full throttle last time when they beat us 9 -5" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we've learnt to adjust our game to the opposition in the last few weeks and I knew we'd be at our best for this one". Rovers controlled the game from the start and good passing and tough defense made it very hard for the Don Logan team to get a look in. "I admit I wasn't too concerned about the earlier game we lost because if anything it would make them over confident" said Hall "and we were only up 3 - 2 at half time but it is always the second half in these games where the good teams gain traction".

Hall said Rovers had grown over the season and were now looking like they could push on to the next level. We were shaky at the end of the last season but we've got a very solid team after this campaign and I think we're ready for another crack at Division 1 next season". Hall said he didn't want to single out any player as the whole team had put in a good performance. "That's our third divisional trophy and we also have a Division 1 plate trophy as well" indicated Hall "but I think that was the sweetest yet because we're one step away now from our goal of winning Division 1 by 30 June 2030". Hall said he'd expect to see Don Logan in Division 1 next season and thought Rovers could push on and challenge for a Division 1 top four place.

Final: Rovers 9 Don Logan FC 6

It's United

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall was still digesting what he had learnt from watching Manchester United win the Premiership this morning. "I think what I learnt was if you stay up all night you get tired" said Hall "and if I stay up all night before our final on Wednesday I won't play very well and will be grumpy with everyone". Hall said it was however good to see United win the first leg of the double. "It was great to see Chelsea pipped at the post and next week they'll hopefully lose the Champions League final" said Hall "by then Rovers should also have the trophy in the cabinet". Hall said he'd be taking more from Manchester United than he would be from Manchester City. "City got an 8 - 1 hiding and I think they were trying to get an indoor football score to see off their manager" quipped Hall "it's a tough job being at the helm and if we lose the final 8 - 1 then I'll cry". Hall said it had been a long day as he'd also watch Waitakere win the O league with a five nil win in horrible conditions in Auckland and had observed "it was better to play indoors on a crap day".

Don Logan In Final

Zephyr Rovers will face top qualifier Don Logan FC in the grand final of Division next Wednesday at the Shed of Dreams. "This is a really tough assignment as these guys only were beaten once in the round robin and gave us a hiding" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we'll really be up against it and we'll have to be on top of our game to be in the running". Hall said he'd be getting up in the small hours of the morning to watch Manchester United and Chelsea battle out the Premiership. "I think we know about pressure games at Rovers" said Hall "but we're not getting paid squillions like these guys so I'll be interested to see what I can learn from how the top players react to pressure". Hall said he had developed a way to deal with the pressure of big games. "We all feel pressure in these big games and it can be nerve jangling playing in the goal" said Hall "so I've found a really useful way for me to dissipate it is to scream and yell at George". Hall said this might not initially seem a good leadership approach it had worked quite well. "Scotsman are used to being screamed at" said Hall "it reminds them of Glasgow (pictured)".

Whores Hosed

Zephyr Rovers today took a huge step to the Division 2 when they turned around a previous loss to Hayden's Whores to take out the semi-final 9 - 5. "It was a game of three thirds" said Zephyr Manager Steve Hall "we won the first third by hard graft and got out to a 3 or 4 goal lead" said Hall "then we fell to pieces and it was 4 - 3 to us at half time before we found ourselves behind shortly into the second half". Hall said Rovers steeled themselves and suddenly found form again. "It was one of those classic games where we got ahead and then they pulled it back" said Hall "so we were either going to fold at that point or get back to how we had been playing, and fortunately we had the legs and scored the next five unanswered". Hall said semi-final football was all about pressure and Rovers had certainly been under some. "What was great is we pretty much stuck to our pattern for 80% of the game" said Hall "but when we didn't we got punished". Hall said that the defensive pairing of Hussey (pictured) and Burn was what made the difference. "We know we have some very good attacking players" said Hall "but if we don't take care of the back then we can get done over, and Nigel and Eddie were both rocks today".

Hall said it was great to reach another final which would be played at 11 am next Wednesday at the Shed of Dreams.

Final: Rovers 9 Hayden's 5

Full Squad Available

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall admitted he had a selection quandary ahead of the semi-final tomorrow against Hayden's Whores at the Shed of Dreams. "We've got Pete Roberts (left) returning to full fitness and and as you know he is the Stevie Gerrard (right) of the southern hemisphere in his own mind" said Hall "so it can get quite difficult when you're dealing with the ego of some of these players". Hall said however it was the best possible position to be in to have a full and fully fit squad. "We could play everyone under the rules but we know from experience that the interchange gets pretty tricky if you have too many subs" said Hall "so I'll let George make the decision as long as he puts me on the team sheet". Hall said he was looking forward to the occasion and he was sure the Shed would be packed to the rafters. "We're even expecting a spectator might turn up" said Hall "but we're not expecting to break the record as we couldn't get hold of rent a crowd so we'll have to grab a few people from Dockside on the way past and bribe them with free drinks".

Division 1 Ambitions

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash told reporters today that it was too soon to be thinking about next season as there was still a job to be done in winning Division 2. "We see some of our old rivals struggling at the bottom of Division 1, and we know these are teams we have beaten previously" said Nash "but that's all to be looked at later has we want to win Division 2 and if we get distracted by looking ahead we'll be out of the competition next Friday". Nash confirmed it was still the ambition of the club to win Division 1 by 30 June 2030. "We're not a club that loses sight of it's vision" said Nash "I think we need to have the building blocks right and continue to build the squad to challenge the Division 1 big guns". Nash confirmed he may not be playing next season as he may have to go under the knife. "I can't say too much to the media but I can say it isn't a breast enhancement or a any other sort of enlargement" said Nash "but I will be out for a few weeks which will give me a chance to sort out the back room at the club".

Little Interest

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall today admitted the recent retirement of Team Wellington striker Graeme Little from eleven a side football had again renewed speculation that Zephyr Rovers would be chasing his signature for the indoor game. "You know these Scotsman like to play with each other" said Hall "and I know that our Chairman knows Graeme so once a few weeks go by and he gets sick of watching TV, we think he'll see that playing indoor and scoring twenty goals a game for Rovers is an attractive proposition". Hall admitted Rovers were looking for a big name signing. "Yes we'd like to sign a big name" said Hall "at the moment we only have eight letter names so if we can't find anyone else I'm changing Matty's name to Cantwellski because everyone has to sound eastern European these days to be a big name". Hall said he'd be talking to the Chairman about using his influence to persuade Little of the wisdom of playing for Rovers. "We're prepared look at buying Bagpipes and a kilt if it will persuade him" said Hall "as long as Amazing Grace doesn't become our theme song".

It's Finals Time

Zephyr Rovers will take on old foe Hayden's Whores next Friday at the Shed of Dreams. "I know we've got all this European footy going on at the moment and we've seen a few knock out games lately" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "so we're finally coming up to our own version of sudden death and we're playing a team that gave us a spanking last time". Hall said he was planning nothing special by way of training because "if the guys aren't haunted by that last loss and want revenge, then there is very little else I can do to motivate them". Hall said it didn't matter how you qualified for the finals as long as you got in the top four. "Once you are at knock out phase it doesn't matter diddly squat where you got in the league and what you won by" said Hall "and we have a history of rising to the big occasions so let's hope we can do it all again".