"Sweet As" Candy

New Zephyr Rovers signing Craig Candy said "Sweet As" when he signed for Rovers today. Candy who has experience with Olympic AFC (pictured) was signed after the "marquee" player Graham Little (a former highland dancing champion) promised by Nash, failed to sign for the club. "We're hoping Craig will bring a bit of class to the side" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "I'd expect he'll have a bit of composure on the ball and bring a few silky skills and delicate touches". Hall said that there had been a hint of decomposure on the ball in last weeks game but Rovers often didn't play to full capacity during the pre-season grading matches.

Chairman Nash said Hall was going on as if Rovers had signed Gordon Strachan. "We're wanting to take Zephyr Rovers to the top of Wellington Indoor Football by 30 June 2030" said Nash "and whilst signing me was an important first step, we're going to need to get more Scotsman if we're going to become the Glasgow Rangers of Wellington Indoor Football". Nash welcomed Candy on board and said Candy was welcome to buy him a drink any time he liked. "I'm thinking of making it a tradition that the new guys buy me a round or three". Nash did not disclose the transfer fee but was reported to have waived it as he was feeling generous this week.

High Profile File

Director Of Football Nikki File (pictured) said today she hoped to lift her profile as the Director of Football at Rovers as she had often stayed in the background. "I don't think a lot of people know what a Director of Football does" said File "and that worries me now that we're looking to reach the dizzy heights of Division 6". Chairman George Nash said he couldn't see Files role changing appreciably from her current role, nor could he see her remuneration changing. "We'll be running a tight ship on my watch as I'm known for my tightness" said Nash "you'd can never be too canny in my book". Nash said the "great to brilliant" restructure had been necessary as Rovers could never accept only being a great club. "I'm modelling us on Rangers" said Nash "and we'll be expecting more for less from the management team".

First Up Draw

Newly branded Zephyr Rovers were up against sixth division semi-finalists Cougars today in the Shed of Dreams. "We have wanted to pit ourselves against Division 6 teams as that is at least the standard want to play at" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "and we blooded two new players today in the form of George Nash and Steve Boxall". Hall said Nash was certainly an "acquisition" and might want to put in a few hard yards before the season proper started. "George has a positional sense that is unsurpassed by anyone else in the team" said Hall "and let's hope it stays that way".

Nash said he was pleased with his first run out and thought he would improve as this was his first match in four years. "We got out to a two goal lead early in the second half and I thought we were home" said Nash "but Cougars pegged us back and it was fair result in the end". Hall said he got more than enough goal keeping practice to last two games. "We missed steady Eddie and now I know what it feels like to be shell shocked" said Hall "but in all honesty we had an off day with our shooting up front and I think we'd have got there with our usual finishing, probably 12 - 11 to us would have been justified".

Final Score: Rovers 4 Cougars 4

Rovers Appoint New Chairman

George Nash (pictured) was today appointed chairman of newly constituted Zephyr Rovers football club after the former Land Rovers FC changed names and web sites following a sponsorship deal cobbled together by Nash. "We were down the pub for Charlie Smiths farewell and George said he could get Graham Little to play for Rovers" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and as an after thought he said he could get us a sponsorship from Zephyr". Hall said the team got very excited and Nash certainly came threw with the sponsorship, but everyone is still waiting for Graham Little to turn up. The new look Rovers start there new campaign tomorrow in the Shed Of Dreams at 2 pm against sixth division Cougars. "This should be a good test of how far up we can go in the leagues" said Hall "some of the boys don't want a three peat of winning Division 7, but are quite keen to win a higher division".