Double Vision

Zephyr Chairman George Nash today said he was comfortable if the club took a while to come up with a new vision after achieving the status of top indoor club in lunch time football by heading the table without playing. "I've heard a few suggestions that we should win the league to fulfil the vision" said Nash " but when Rovers created that vision they were getting beaten by ten goals in Division 7 by the likes of Infinity, so topping the table seems like pretty much the vision achieved to me". Ironically that same Infinity team is now a fellow Division 1 team. "I don't think Rovers fear Infinity after beating them previously in a semi-final" said Nash "but you can be certain we respect every team in the league". Rovers will now have to wait eleven days for their opening Division 1 fixture. "As far as the vision goes we might even go for two" said Nash "and start a corporate trend in having double vision".

Don't Dream It's Over

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) revealed this afternoon he was ecstatic that Zephyr Rovers had achieved their vision of being the best team in Wellington by the 30 June 2030. "Yesterday we were promoted to Division 1 and today we were defaulted to by the defending champions to give us the three points and put us on top of Division 1 for at least three days" exclaimed Hall "apparently the champs are on a piss trip to Brisbane all week and the game couldn't be rearranged". Hall said he was elated to meet the vision of the club in just over a year since it was formed, and some twenty-three years ahead of schedule. "I know some will say we have climbed the mountain and should quit whilst we are ahead" said Hall "but I feel we should conduct one of those touchy feely management visioning exercises and with a bit of hand holding and a hug or two we should be able to come up with a new challenge". Hall said he had considering writing a book on achieving visions by fast track, but had been given legal advice that suggested the book could be mistaken as promoting hallucinogens. "I'm going to celebrate with a few quiets down the Thistle" said Hall.

It's Division 1

Wellington Indoor Sports confirmed this afternoon that Zephyr Rovers had been promoted to Division 1 after their impressive pre-season performances including the narrow loss to Division 1 runners up Mercer. "It's come as a bit of a shock to be 23 years ahead of the team plan to be promoted to Division 1" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but that gives us a few years to consolidate before we become the best team in Wellington Indoor football". Hall said he immediately commenced talks with Craig Candy (pictured) about upping his match time for the club. "I had a talk to the lad about achieving better balance in his life, that is more football time" said Hall "and he'll make a formidable pairing with Matty and none of the other squad members are slouches either". Hall said the club was now better equipped to handle the absence of key defenders Hussey and White. "If we grab a few points then I expect we'll have Ben and Eddie back later in the season" said Hall "and you can't complain with a core squad of Nash, Cao, McIntosh, Boxall and of course me". Hall said the first season would be one of consolidation and a top four spot would be a bonus. "We'll be happy in season one to learn the ropes and pick up a few wins" said Hall.

Zephyr Sponsorship

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash today confirmed that Zephyr Consulting has agreed to renew their sponsorship for the coming season starting next week. "I think Zephyr Consulting have certainly got some visibility of their brand from being associated with Rovers" said Nash "and I think it is fair to say Zephyr Rovers have been noticed on the indoor scene". Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said only on Monday he overheard someone saying "Who is that grey team?". Hall said at first he thought it was a spectator referring to Col's beard but then he realised it turned out it was an ignoramus mixing up Silver and Grey.

"We're proud to be associated with Zephyr and we think we have an alignment in that we're both winners" said Hall "and I know the Chairman had a few quiets with our sponsor representative Graeme McInteer (pictured) to celebrate clinching the deal". Hall said he hoped the partnership would long continue and Rovers were well on track to meet their vision of being the best indoor team in Wellington by 30 June 2030. "We might be in Division one as soon as next week" said Hall "23 years ahead of schedule".

Rough Stuff

Wellington Indoor Sports announced yesterday that Zephyr Rovers was one of the teams to watch when they described Rovers as one of eight teams that pop up in referee reports about teams. "I was flabbergasted" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we're a pretty clean team since Charlie and Chris left and whilst we've had the odd discussion with a referee, I can't recall it ever being abusive". Hall said he was even more perplexed when hearing that "that guy with the grey beard is your worst offender". Hall said he thought Colin McIntosh (pictured) was one of the elder statesmen of the league and if anything looked presidential. "I was gob-smacked especially as we'd had a bit of rough stuff against us in the last game" said Hall "and Col was as quiet as a lamb".

White Knight Returns

Ben White made an unexpected return to the Rovers today against Division 6 strugglers Jacques Martin. White returned as goalkeeper and would have kept a clean sheet if it had not been for one ripper of a shot that rocketted into the corner. "It was good to have Ben back in the team and he proved he could do everything including keep goal" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "one of their guys was trying to drill holes with the ball in the back wall and it was inevitable that he'd hit the net by mistake eventually".

Hall said the game was something of a cruise after Matty Cantwell scored early goals. "We went in 4 - 0 up by half time and I never saw them as having a chance to get back into it" said Hall "but they resorted to a bit of push and shove in the second half to try and gain some traction, but it didn't work". Hall left his shooting boots at home and although he got two, he could have had seven or eight. "I give credit to their keeper, one of the best we've played against" said Hall "he came off his line quicky and and a defender clobbered you from behind if you hesitated".

Final: Rovers 9 Jacques Martin 1

Five For Two

Zephyr Rovers will have only five of their line up available for their 2 pm match tomorrow against lower division opponents Jacques Martin. "This is the last run out before the season starts and we're treating it as a light training run" said Zephyr Manager Steve Hall "but we will have to look to recruit a new player if Ben White (pictured) doesn't reappear by next week". Hall said that with Hussey moving to Europe for the rest of the winter, he was hoping White would be back before too many games went by. "We want to do well again Division 3 presuming we don't get promoted" said Hall "and we think Ben will be a useful player to help both our defence and attack". Hall said the match at the Shed of Dreams would still be an interesting challenge and Rovers was still aiming to win it.