Fireworks Expected

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he was expecting fireworks tomorrow but not during the game with Infinity at the Shed of Dreams. "I can honestly say Rovers are a pretty disciplined side these days so we won't be starting anything" said Hall "but we do expect a few fireworks on the wharf later on for Guy Fawkes". Hall said Infinity were one of Rovers oldest opponents going back to Division 7 days. "Our most famous result has to be beating Infinity in a final from 6 - 1 down with Charlie Smith having a howler in goal" said Hall "but they've been a strong team and we've always had a good match with them including a six all draw where they equalised with one second to go". Hall said he was expecting Rovers to get off to a winning start as Infinity would be "adapting to the pace of the league".

Phoenix Pip Perth

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he was taking some pointers from the Phoenix win over Perth even though he didn't see the game due to a cable fault. "I knew something was wrong when Telstra Clear left me a note to say I might notice a degradation of service" said Hall "and it turned out that Sky Sport 1 was down". Hall said the weekend would have been a write off as he only had six channels left, but fortunately Sky Sport 2 was one of the channels. "I was able to rescue something from the weekend by watching Arsenal versus Manyoo live as well as the Liverpool versus Blackburn game". Hall said the turn around for Phoenix had offered the Rovers hope that they could start the new season with a bang and overcome adversity. "They lost a few in a row and came back when it mattered" said Hall "I think Rovers can do the same".

Perth Are A Bunch Of Girls

Former Zephyr Rovers player Charlie Smith (pictured) confessed this afternoon that he wouldn't be going to see the Perth Glory versus Wellington Phoenix match as he had been offered free beer at an alternative venue. "I've never seen a professional game of football outside of the UK" said Smith "and I'll be watching this one in the pub". Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he expected a Phoenix would beat Perth as it was well known that Perth were "bunch of girls". Hall said he'd noticed a decline in the fortunes of Perth ever since Charlie Smith had moved there. "They were going alright before Charlie moved there but I don't think they've won a game since". Hall said Smith had that kind of impact on a team. "Pompey have been going well ever since he left the UK" suggested Hall "I suspect he really did turn into a Saint supporter after all".

It's Super 10

Zephyr Rovers were this afternoon confirmed in the new look Division 1 with ten teams. "I think we could call this the Super 10" said Hall "or maybe the Premier Indoor League". Hall said the draw gave Rovers potential for some early wins if they came out of the blocks quickly. "We avoid the big guns in the first first few games so if we play well we could get some early points" said Hall "although there are clearly no easy games at this level". The current season could also be the last season as Shed 1 may be demolished to make way for a Hilton Hotel. "I don't have any issues with them building the Hilton Hotel although why the Council is building an Indoor Stadium out in the backblocks near the airport is not entirely clear" said a concerned looking Hall "it seems to have the benefit that you can't get to it and the parking will be awful even if you can". Hall said there had been some dopey waterfront ideas like building a swamp down there but not catering for corporate sport was short-sighted in his view.

Horror Show

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall tonight denied been stressed in his role of football manager. "We've got a better recent record than the Phoenix who after the weekend must have thought it was Halloween" said Hall "and here we are and tonight and it is". Hall said he was keenly awaiting the new indoor draw to see if Rovers would retain their Division 1 status. "We know there is a lot of competition for the places but we're hoping our trophy winning performance will see us through". Hall said he was attending a curry party on Saturday night where a few beverages would be consumed. "I'm expecting Sunday morning to bring more horrors than this evening" said Hall "at the same function last year mixing a vindaloo with cocktails proved a scary combination". Hall said Charlie Smith visiting Wellington would also scare a few people but endeavours would be made to keep him away from curry or cocktails.

Hall Stressed

Zephyr Chairman George Nash said this morning that Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall must be suffering from stress after his after match comments yesterday. "I must say I'm worried he'll do a Mallard so we'll be offering him a few hours recreational leave" said Nash "he need to kick back and forget about football for a couple of hours". Nash said Rovers didn't currently have an employee referral programme and it was a major concern that the club had had a vacancy for a Swedish Masseuse for some months. "We're thinking a blonde support team member (pictured) would work wonders" said Nash "a half time rub would probably cause a few second half revivals". Zephyr Manager Hall could not be reached for comment but there were strong rumours circulating he might be taking a couple of hours off at the Thistle Hotel on Thursday afternoon.

Whores Have It

Zephyr Rovers lost their last game of the pre-season this afternoon at the Shed of Dreams. Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) said he was disappointed at the result and said the marking was far too loose for this level of football. "Some of the guys think we should be pushing up more but the result of that is we're getting beaten by bigger scores" said Hall "the opposition had far too many free shots today with no pressure at all on the man with the ball". Hall said it felt like a shooting gallery in the Rovers goal and there was little he could do to stop the onslaught. "I guess the positive is we scored six and they have a very good keeper" said Hall "but the fact is we still need to defend as well". Hall said the speed of the Whores breaks were telling in the match. "These guys were fast and lethal" said Hall "they definitely have some speed in that side and that is why we can't get caught up field so much".

Final: Rovers 6 Whores 10