Exercise Your Groin

Ben White this afternoon pulled out of the match against Hayden's Whores for "medical reasons" after indicating he was under orders from his physio to exercise his groin for another week. "I don't his physio personally and I'm sure she is good at what she does" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we now might have to organise a team night out at great expense to help Ben get his groin sorted". Hall said he he could understand such advise coming from a fringe practitioner but he was sure White would put his groin through its paces over the next seven days. "Let's face it their could be worse things to be told to do" said Hall "I mean if he'd gone to a reflexologist he'd be flexing his feet for a fortnight".

Whores For Rovers

Wellington Indoor sports have advised today that Zephyr Rovers last grading game will be against Hayden's Whores. "We've seen these guys a few times now so we know their game better than most" said Hall "and we'll be keen for a top game as we want to retain our Division 1 status and have a good lead in to the season". Hall met with Chairman Nash to discuss selection and they had decided to field all available players for this match. "It will be a good chance for a photo of the team" said Hall "and we can use it as a selection match as well for the first week". Rovers kick of at 12 noon at the Shed of Dreams and Hall said was hoping the fans would turn out for the pre-season fixture. "We'll be looking to play attractive football" said Hall "so we're hoping to get some attractive supporters along to out number the Whores".

Extra Training For Nash

Zephyr Rovers Chairman and utility George "Toe Poke" Nash has admitted he will be down at Shed 1 this evening for an extra training sessions. "We're getting the full squad back to fitness now and I'm feeling under pressure to keep my place" confessed Nash "I had a meeting with the manager yesterday and he suggested I put some extra time on the training ground". Hall said that the Shapeshifters team was having a run down in the Shed and he'd be going along to see if there were benefits in a regular Friday afternoon training run. "We've got to consider new ideas and this might help improve the fitness levels and perhaps even a few of the ball skills" said Hall "and if it helps George lift his game all the better".

"Baby Face" To Sprout Facial Hair

Zephyr Rovers defender Eddie Hussey has announced his entry into Movember to raise money for Prostrate Cancer. "I must admit I was surprised when I heard that Eddie could grow facial hair so we're all interested to see how far he gets in a month" said Zephyr Manager Steve Hall "certainly Chairman Nash is taking wagers that no one will notice the difference". Hall said Nash had unkindly suggested that Hussey had a baby face. "I know Eddie is our Rovers poster boy and I'm sure we'll be able to flog of pictures of the mo around Wellington nursing homes and make a bit of cash for charity" said Hall "Eddie is a legend in Molly Malones as well and he only has to walk in and the women start screaming".

Smith Coming Back

Former Zephyr Rovers "player" Charlie Smith has announced a visit to Wellington in April next year and says he will be buying the drinks all night. "Charlie says he has advised Mrs Smith that she won't be seeing him on the night of 11 April" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and if it is like his last shout I expect we'll be buying him drinks all night, not that I'm calling him tight". Smith is apparently burning off his air points but is looking for a game for the Rovers. "I've heard they still talk about my long range goal from a few seasons back" said Smith "the one where I curled it through the shed door from the other side of the harbour, right into the top corner". Hall said he would warn local establishments of Smith's plans closer to the date".

Squad Shaping Up

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this afternoon that Zephyr Rovers were shaping up well for the new season. "We have one grading game left before the new season gets underway but it looks like we'll have Ben White (pictured) back for the new season as well as the seven regulars from last season" said Hall "so I might have a selection quandary on my hands as sole selector". Hall said he hoped the team would benefit from having had a season in Div 1 and push for a top four place. "We won the plate trophy but we'd be looking to improve our number of wins as we lost narrowly on a number of occasions last season" said Hall "so with everyone available and the benefit of experience we should press on for a top four place this season".

No Bottle

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) said today that the bottle throwing incident at the Phoenix match was a disgrace. "You don't see people throwing bottles at Rovers games, we're more likely to be throwing tantrums or losing our bottle" said Hall "I guess we're just fortunate to have passive supporters". Hall said that he was out of the bottle firing line up in the Deloitte Lounge, where applause broke out on at least one occasion after the Phoenix goal. "You could say the crowd up there wasn't into throwing stuff" said Hall "and they probably haven't seen anything fly out the window there since I dropped a cell phone accidentally there a few years back". Hall said Rovers were known for the occasional emotional response. "I want to get a video of George at full time" said Hall "he does get a bit passionate in some games".