Phoenix Return To Ashes

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said today he was reevaluating the Zephyr defensive qualities after watching the Phoenix defense closely from the Deloites Lounge. " I reckon by comparison with that performance we're doing exceptionally well at Rovers" said Hall "and I haven't had time to hear what George thought about it all". Hall said he'd take Karl Dodd into the Rovers squad any day of the week but wasn't too sure if any other Phoenix player would get a start. "I know they are fully professional and all that" informed Hall "but you couldn't call that last goal a schoolboy error because even a school boy wouldn't do that". Hall said he went to Phoenix games to learn something but at the moment with Phoenix three losses in a row he wasn't learning much. "I might have to go and watch Team Wellington if this keeps up" groaned Hall.

Not BeforeTime

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall admitted this morning that he would be watching the Phoenix match from the corporate lounge after scoring a couple of tickets to the top tier. "I'll miss sitting with the fans down in the bowl" said Hall "but I'm sure I could become accustomed to sitting in a Corporate box regularly if anyone wants to invite me into one". Hall said he expected his elevated view to give him a clear view of any referee mistakes that might happen. "The beauty of it all is you can watch the game out the window as well as sitting next to the TV for replays" said Hall "and I'm sure I'll have plenty to say even up there". Hall said he'd finally relented and bought Beckham tickets as "we has beens have to stick together to stop the wannabes getting carried away".

Italian Formation

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this afternoon he was thinking of capitalising on the Italian connection by playing Rovers next game in an Italian formation. "We'll play a 0 - 0 - 4 formation with Chopper as the sweeper" said Hall "and the we'll break fast and score once and win 1 - 0". Hall said he was also looking at a deal with Watties to provide Spaghetti cans to the team before matches. "I've always admired the Italian game since I went to Napoli as a boy and nearly got ran down by 5000 Fiat Bambinas" said Hall "in fact that is probably the only team car we could afford right now". Hall said the team would have to take style lessons from John Cao. "I think George's fashion sense could be lifted a few notches" said Hall "that kilt is looking a bit worn to be honest".

Italian Fan Club

Zephyr Rovers have suddenly become popular in Italy and not it seems because Zephyr Chairman George Nash named his son Italian football legend Paolo Rossi. "It looks like we are getting a lot of web site hits because of John Cao" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "it's a real pity that no one can kind find a photo of John that matches his pretty boy looks". Hall said one Italian fan sat on the web site for over an hour the other day. "I'm giving serious thought to starting the Italian section of our fan club if this keeps up" said Hall "I'll have a talk to Liz Pollock about changing her name to Liz Pollonie or something like that". Hall said he'd been to Italy once including a fleeting visit to Palermo. "We were going to send Charlie there to toughen him up but the big girl left for pansy Perth" said Hall "and I don't think Charlie was the image we were looking for as Italians have more style than him". Hall said Rovers would look to photoshop John Cao's photo to pretty him up a bit.

Robbed By Ref

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash was furious this afternoon after Rovers got the rough end of refereeing decisions at the Shed of Dreams against the so called Dream Team. "We expected a bit of bias to be honest but that was the worst performance by a referee since we've been playing" spat Nash "every decision went against us no matter how blatantly the opposition pushed and shoved, and at one point they almost put Matty through the wall". Nash said he was amazed he'd kept his temper throughout the match the officiating was so bad. "I felt like an All Black there for most of the match and I expect this to be all over talk back tonight" spluttered Nash "so many biased decisions by the ref". The game itself was fairly even until the referee allowed a goal which had clearly gone through the side netting. "That was the shocker of shockers as it clearly didn't go in" said Nash "in fact Steve Hall was keeping and didn't even realise they'd awarded it until after the match".

Rovers 3 Dream Team 6

Plastic Pitch Controversy

Zephyr Rover Manager Steve Hall said today that Rovers were increasingly concerned about the surface at Shed 1 and wanted it replaced with a plastic pitch. "We've heard all about these plastic pitches all week that England is going to play on in Russia and we say what a luxury" said Hall "that sounds much better than a bit of old gritty carpet spread across concrete". Hall said David Beckham was welcome to come down to Shed 1 during his visit to Wellington and see if they wanted the Shed 1 surface installed at Wembley instead. "I think if Michael Owen thinks playing on plastic is a problem he should get dropped by some big hairy full back on the Shed 1 concrete surface". Hall said he doubted Beckham (pictured) would show up at Shed 1 as "he has enough trouble playing on grass".

No Cap For Hall

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) said he'd missed out on a cap for Fiji and as a result was wearing his own cap around. "I'm sorry Fiji didn't see the opportunity for my international debut" said Hall "but that doesn't mean we're going to give the referees any chop when we play them on Wednesday". Hall said the opposition didn't even appear to have given their team a name yet. "They've been a bit slack in that department but we know their faces" said Hall "they'll probably call themselves something daft like Whistle Blowers". Hall said he had Chopper McIntosh breaking bricks on his forehead in preparation for the match but otherwise was doing nothing special. "Col has the head for it" quipped Hall.