Zephyr Rovers FC

International Retirement

2008-09-07T22:02:00.003+12:00

Zephyr Manager Steve Hall declared his international retirement today after failing to be called up for the New Zealand team to play New Caledonia. "Fortunately I'm still able to consider representative honours as I played today in the Town versus Country at North Wellington club" said Hall "and you'll find my name on the card for the second team on the same day although I never got on the field, in fact I never even put my kit on". Hall said he had not phoned Rikki Herbert for an explanation but he knew Herbert had a lot on his mind with the recent form of the Phoenix. "I'm tempted to give Rikki a few pointers again" said Hall "but I've got every confidence New Zealand will beat New Caledonia this evening but disappointed I won't see any of the million for qualifying for the Confederations Cup. Hall would not say what his fee for playing for Country was over the weekend but said "I love football and will play for free if I have to". Hall played no international games for either his birth country or his adopted country but always felt he was close to a call up.

FNZ Soundly Beaten

2008-09-03T21:27:00.002+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said that Zephyr Rovers had had no problems disposing of lower league opposition today at the Shed of Dreams, despite George Nash (pictured) being full of the flu. "We were five goals to nil up when I decided to have a run in the outfield""said Hall "but when it got back to 5 - 2 I scurried back into the goals for fear of them getting back in it". Hall said Rovers stabilised after his return to goal and Rovers went on to score another four goals unanswered. "I actually had a clean sheet when I was in goal but the stand ins let a couple in" said Hall "and the distribution went from excellent to very poor, which explains why I couldn't buy a goal in the outfield". Hall said the fear was the teams Rovers were playing were not close to the standard of Division 1 so the Rover would have to lift their game several notches if another Div 1 campaign was to be contemplated. "We still need to strengthen the squad" said Hall "unless we end up in Div 2 where we'd be ok".

Final: Rovers 9 FNZ 2

Phoenix Horrible

2008-08-30T21:41:00.002+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had made a mistake in watching the Wellingto Phoenix game against Adelaide in the hope pf gainimg managerial inspiration for the forthcoming Division 1 campaign. "The Phoenix lost 3 - 0 and were shocking" said Hall "and frankly I could have subbed on and made a bigger impact". Hall said the game showed the pressure of being a football manager and getting a team motivated. "I'm lucky really with Rovers that some of the players come naturally hyped up"said Hall "it doesn't usually take much to get a discussion going between me and George during a game, and he's lucky I don't usually understand a word of what he says in the heat of the moment". Hall said if the Phoenix neded a pre-match pep talk before their next match he'd be happy to send his Chairman down to say a few words. "I'm sure Goerge would put a bomb under them"" said Hall "they wouldn't want to come back to the dressing room having lost three nil that is for sure".

Moss Shocker

2008-08-24T22:25:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed he was available for immediate call up after watching a shocking performance from Glen Moss as the Phoenix went down to Melbourne at the Ring of Fire. "They seemed to have a bit more water on the pitch than we do down at the Shed of Dreams and Moss made a few errors"said Hall "perhaps he needs to come down and watch Rovers and see what diving around on concrete feels like". Hall said that carpet on concrete was the perfect way to harden Moss up for the remaining A League fixtures. "What I find interesting about indoor keeping is that if you survive the fall onto the concrete floor then you forget about the carpet burns you get whilst doing it" explained Hall "and once in a while when you bend your finger back, you can at least have the joy of the carpet turning from red to green so you can see it". Hall said Rovers would welcome Moss coming down for a bit if toughening up. "We will give anone advice in this team"said Hall "no one is too big to be brought down to earth".

Rovers Outclassed

2008-08-20T20:08:00.001+12:00

The return of Pete Roberts to the Rovers line up did not prevent a loss to Harp Shooters at the Shed of dreams. ""We have no excuses for this one"said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we had a pretty strong line up out for the game, we had a lot of possession and territory, but we weren't good enough to put them away". Hall said Harp Shooters play a defensive quick break style that proved highly effective against Rovers. "We need a few more goals for all our efforts, but we tried to get too close and didn't shoot enough from distance" said Hall "perhaps Ben White would have made a difference but most likely it was the lack of a stable line up that is impacting on us the most". Hall said there was no doubt the teams at the bottom half of Division 1 had improved a lot over the second half of the season. "There are no easy game in Division 1 now"said Hall "we just got beaten by all the teams in the lower half after beating two of them in the first round".

Final: Rovers 3 Harp Shooters 6

Rovers Return

2008-08-17T23:16:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed this afternoon that Pete Roberts would be one of several players to return for the rematch against Harp Shooters for the wooden spoon. "We've suddenly got Matty (pictured) and Pete back, and John, Eddie and Dan are all available"said Hall "so we probably have the strongest line up for some weeks". Hall said it wasn't exactly a case of revenge over Harp Shooters, he was treating it as a pre-season friendly. "Ok so it will be sweet if we can get one back over them and I assure everyone I'll be playing in goal" said Hall "but it is the grading games now that matter more and we need to win those to stay in Division 1 for next season". Hall said he was looking forward as well to the Phoenix game later today for inspiration. "I think you can get recharged watching a bit of football"said Hall "I've already watched three Premier League games and the highlights, so the world doesn't seem such a bleak place today".

Punished

2008-08-15T23:03:00.001+12:00

"I don't want to talk about it" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall as Rovers were today whipped by Ten Left Feet. "We would go a long way to find a worse game than that" said Hall "we started brightly enough but we didn't build from the back very well and the distribution wasn't too flash". Hall said playing himself out field hadn't worked that well. ""I was a bit knackered from lack of recent outfield experience" said Hall "but I don't think I got a ball to feet from the back all day, so I appreciated that I need to get back into goal so that we can get some quality ball delivered up front". Hall said it was interesting that the defence thought the attacking was at fault. "Everyone is entitled to their opinion but as manager I know I'm right" said Hall "at the end of the day we need to get back to positions we know and I know this squad has it in them to beat Ten Left Feet again, but full credit today as they took us to the cleaners". Hall said he needed to rebuild the squad to ensure more depth was available. "I'll be taking a look at Robbie Keene (pictured)" said Hall "on the tele".

Final: Rovers 2 Ten Left Feet 10

Scraping For Left Feet

2008-08-13T22:52:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager conceded this evening that Rovers wouldn't be launching a serious attempt to win the Division 1 plate. "We've won in before and unfortunately we've loss a bit of enthusiasm in recent weeks and will have to rebuild for next season" said Hall "we only have three squad players members available for the match against Ten Left Feet and we're even short of rings ins at this point". Hall said he decided to use the play offs as part of the pre-season build up and would try new players out as he identified potential new squad members. "Pete Roberts says he's only a week away from a come back" said Hall "but we're going to be hit with no recognised goal scorer this week and with Matty (pictured), George, John, Ben all out, I'm not giving us much of a chance". Hall said he would take the unusual step of playing outfield for the match. "I know I'm best at keeper because I can organise the team best from back there" said Hall "but these are desperate days so I'll give it a crack". Hall said it was a short term change as "the team will miss my distribution from the back". Hall said keeper was by no means as easy as it looked.

No Time To Revisit Goals

2008-08-11T22:41:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) rubbished media speculation that Rovers would review its ambition to be the best club in Wellington by 30 June 2030. "I've talked to the Chairman and we think it is a goal we can not only achieve, but which with better luck on the availability front we might have got close to this season" said Hall "we certainly learnt it is a squad game and you can't win the season with five or even seven players". Hall said Rovers had had a tough season with keeping consistent starting line ups. "We've been forced to blood new players and there is no doubt we could use a bit more goal scoring grunt right now"said Hall "Matty is currently taking too much on himself and he needs a foil to both take the heat off him as well as score a few goals themselves".
Hall said first class strikers with proven goal scoring records could approach the club and would be given a trial in the new season.

Close But No Cigar

2008-08-08T22:31:00.002+12:00

Zephyr Rovers disappointingly bowed out of this seasons Division one semi-finals after a loss to lowly Harp Shooters. "We had the team to do the business but we didn't do it" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we had a really off day with our shooting and I think about seven shots went narrowly over the bar". Hall said with so many players having missed chunks of the season, it was hardly surprising that Rovers had a disjointed look to them for the match. "We needed support for Matty and with John just having come back from overseas, and the likes of Pete Roberts still out injured, we just didn't have the usual spring in our step". Rovers were 5 - 2 down before a late come back which almost saw a draw rescued. "We would have got through with one more goal so that is how fine a point it is" said Hall "there was so little in it in the end and we went out on goal differential which is bitterly disappointing". Hall said all that was left for the season it seemed was character building. "I don't mind admitting I hate losing" said Hall "and this was gutting in the circustances".

Phoenix Final

2008-08-06T22:22:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash (pictured) and Manager Steve Hall attended the final of the A League pre-season tournament at the stadium tonight. "We had a pre-match conference at the Thistle "said Nash "and of course we talked about our chance of taking three points of Harp Shooters to qualify for the finals". Rovers are looking short of players for the match but should be able to field five regulars. "We know Harp Shooters play a defensive formation"said Nash "they never seem to score many but they have a very solid defence who can frustrate you". Nash said he learnt little from the Phoenix match but was impressed by the penalty taking. "If Rangers ever need specialist penalty takers then these guys might get a game" said Nash "and of course I want to take the penalties for Rovers if we ever get one".

Cao Kid Returns

2008-08-03T17:41:00.000+12:00

John Cao (pictured) will be back from his northern hemisphere trip for the game this Friday against Harp Shooters. "We'll have all of the contingent that went overseas back for this one" said Hall "but funnily a lot of the guys who played the middle part of the season won't be". Hall said that he was looking into permanent recruitment of new players but with a busy schedule he hadn't had time to do the usual scouting to see who was available on the market. Ï must admit I've watched a few lower league indoor teams and thought about flogging some of their players" said Hall "but usually we pick up players who are known already to the team". Hall said he wasn't that concerned how players arrived at the club. " If I get an e mail from the Internet to say someone wants a trial then we'll take a look at them for sure" said Hall "providing they have a track record that suggests they'll fit into the team and be able to play at Division 1 standard". Hall said a goal scorer had to be the priority. "We're pretty good defensively when we have our best line up"suggested Hall "but we need to get more goals in the net".

Thumped

2008-07-31T19:27:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers were soundly beaten today by an in form Don Logan team at the Shed of Dreams. "We had two players on debut and George coming back from surgery" said Hall "but they turned out a strong team and simply took us to the cleaners". Hall made the rare move of bringing himself out into the outfield in the second half but the goals kept coming. Ï thought they played very well and would have been a handful for our best line up" said Hall "but the reality is you can't afford to debut two new players in the same game and expect to have team cohesion". Hall said with injuries and unavailability it was getting hard to maintain continuity. "You'd think a squad of ten for five starting positions would be enough"bemoaned Hall "but the reality this season is we needed more". Hall said the result meant a win in the last match would be needed to steer Rovers through to a semi-final. "We missed Matty and John today (both pictured)" said Hall "and even with themback we still need a Jamie like replacement to put some goals in".

Final: Rovers 5 Don Logan 13

Tough Road Ahead

2008-07-28T19:06:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said today that one more win should see Rovers through to the final but warned that notwithstanding Rovers had beaten Harp Shooters and Don Logan in the first round, both teams were tough opponents. "We won't be able to sleep walk to the finals, Don Logan has been in good form and Harp Shooters tend to play a defensive pattern and can be very hard to break down". Hall said Rovers were particularly short for this weeks fixture against Don Logan. "It is starting to look like we'll have to bring in two or three new players and we've lost all our recognised strikers for this one so it will be a hard ask". Hall said the departure of Jamie Johnstone and the absence of Matty Cantwell (pictured) might make goals hard to come by. "We may have to play it very tight and hope we can sneak it 4 -3"confessed Hall "but we won't know how our new players will fit in so that is the great unknown".

Bellies Down

2008-07-25T22:35:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers sent of Jamie Johnston today in style by beating Jimmie Five Bellies at the Shed of Dreams. "We had six for this match and it was one of our stronger line ups of recent times" said Hall ""only problem for Jimmies was that they were up against it because they only had four players". Hal said if it was difficult to play against ten players in eleven aside then it wasn't that easy to break down four players in five aside. Understandably they played deep in their half and tried to get breaks to score against us"said Hall "and whilst we looked comfortable for the whole match we couldn't break them down that easily so a big score was never going to eventuate". Hall said it was only at the end that Rovers slackened off and gave Jimmies a few cheap goals. "This result puts us firmly in second place"said Hall "but you could see enough to know we have to find another level to be competitive in a semi-final or final against them". Hall said Eddie Hussey would be back in the country next week and it was a case of goodye Jamie and hello Eddie. "An Irishman for a Scotsman" chuckled Hall "I'm not sure if that is a good deal or not".

Final: Rovers 10 Jimmies 5

Back Home Laddie

2008-07-23T22:25:00.002+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash (pictured) and Manager Steve Hall attended a farewell function for Jamie Johnston last evening. "Jamie has been a good servant to Rovers and whilst we were hoping he'd be around for another thirty years or so, we understand that family comes first and Jamie needs to return home at this point" said Nash "I understand this all too well and we wish Jamie well and hope he will return to the Rovers fold should he return to New Zealand further down the track". Manager Hall said it was unusual to be drinking before a big match so whilst he had appeared to have been drinking beer, he had in fact not swallowed. "Not everyone can make a drink disappear without drinking it"said Hall "but with a big game coming up I knew we had to go to the function and give the appearance of enjoying ourselves" said Hall and I was particularly impressed with Jamie who really did look like he was drinking that scotch, it certainly fooled me". Hall denied media speculation that he had booked a seat for Nash on the same flight.

Fire In Their Bellies

2008-07-21T22:08:00.002+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said Zephyr Rovers would have to play with "fire in their bellies"" if they were to get a result against Jimmy Five Bellies. Ï don't think there is much doubt that when these guys play their strongest line up they are the class act of the division" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "they are the team that we measure ourselves against in our desire to win this league by 2030". Hall said whilst he acknowledged that Rovers had the opportunity to consolidate second place if they could win the match, he knew that this match would be a chance to have a peak at possibly the strongest team in the league. "We know Els Gaye is currently top but that won't mean a thing at semi-final time"said Hall "we know these guys have the fire power and fortunately this week we'll have a good line up out to test them". Hall said Matty Cantwell (pictured) would be forming a potent strike force with Jamie Johnston who would be playing his last match for the Rovers before returning to Scotland.

Feet Second

2008-07-19T21:45:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers never looked in much danger today at the Shed of Dreams as they dispatched Ten Left Feet 7 - 2. "We resorted to using Tim Hall again this week due to so many players being unavailable"said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "" and he managed to score a goal which makes him the youngest player in the team and quite possibly the league to do so". Hall said he had planned to bring his son Tim into the squad as part of the youth development programme about 2027. "We're looking to win this league by 30 June 2030 and obviously I'd be amiss as a manager if I didn't have a long term plan to strengthen the squad"said Hall "so yes I am looking ahead to see when we can draft in new players and you can be sure we'll be keeping an eye on other players to make the step up to play for Rovers". Hall said a solid defensive effort backed by the twinkle toes of Matty Cantwell had seen the team through. "We were the only team playing with our right feet"said Hall "so it helped us win this one".
Final: Rovers 7 Ten Left Feet 2

More Left Feet

2008-07-16T17:48:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers would again be playing old enemy Ten Left Feet this Friday at the Shed of Dreams. "We've been playing these guys since our Division 7 days and they're always a tough nut to crack, especially as they seem to have large squad an you never know who will turn up" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall and that's why we may no heed whatsoever to the popular press who I'm sure are thinking we will walk away with this one". Rovers have been struggling with absences and injuries this season and have tried a few new players to get make up the numbers. "My son will be playing again this week a sit is still school holidays and we're not confident yet we'll get our five players"said hall "but getting a team on the park is a big consideration in this league and no team is able to play their strongest line up week in week out". Hall said he had considered dragging Colin "Chopper"Mc Intosh out of retirement again but hadn't had the opportunity to see if his zimmer frame could get through the court doors. "There was also the question of what would happen if Chopper saved a goal with the zimmer frame"said Hall ""I don't think they've formulated a rule on that eventuality yet".

Aberdeen Calls

2008-07-14T19:30:00.000+12:00

Jamie Johnston has announced today that he will be returning to Scotland for family reasons and is unsure when or if he will return to New Zealand. "I've tried to get him a transfer to a Scottish club" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but apparently he thinks there is another team up there besides Glasgow Rangers, which George Nash assures me there isn't". Hall said Johnston had been a useful acquisition with his speed and handy left boot and the team would miss him. "We'll be looking to get a few of the lads along to his send off, of that I think we can be sure" said Hall "we'll probably end up with George getting the kilt out and doing a few of those highland jigs around the bar". Hall said Johnston would play two more games for Rovers before his departure".

Mercy Mercy Mercer

2008-07-11T19:46:00.000+12:00

A depleted Zephyr Rovers today took on fellow leaders Mercer at the Shed of Dreams. "We got a mate of Ben's Kenny and my son to play for us and George was back for another run" said Hall "so we cobbled together a team although we looked a bit shaky at the start". Mercer got out to an early lead and were 4 - 1 up before Rovers started to knit it together. "We knuckled down and I thought we were getting the better of them midway through the second half when we got back to 4 - 3 down" said Hall "but unfortunately we then made two subs and lost the pattern, which handed the initiative back to Mercer". Hall said a bad throw out from the back saw it all fall apart. "I was trying to get them on a quick break but they intercepted and at 5 - 3 we didn't have the time to come back" said Hall "they got one more and it ended 6 - 3". Hall said that was probably Mercers strongest line up so their wasn't that much to fear if Rovers could put out a full line up. "We're not at full strength this week although Ben White (pictured) is starting to return to his old form which is good" said Hall "but we can improve and as long as we make the top four we can beat anyone".

Rovers 3 Mercer 6

Holidays In The Sun

2008-07-06T17:35:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers will be without a "galaxy of stars" for their match against Mercer this Thursday at the Shed of Dreams. "Remarkably we have three players out of the country, either swanning around Europe or putting their feet up on the Sunshine Coast" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we've not only had to draft George (pictured) back in but we'll have two players making their debut for Rovers including my son who is on his school holidays". Hall said it was difficult to plan holidays in a league that never had an off-season. "I can understand people wanting to get away from Wellington at this time of the year as the weather is less than optimal" said Hall "but just because it has been raining for three weeks doesn't mean they all had to go at the same time". Mercer and Rovers are currently two of the four teams that are first equal in the league. "They got thrashed a few weeks ago fielding an understrength team so I'm sure there best line up will be out there" said Hall "but we'll give them a game and you never know we might steal the points if we're lucky".

Back On Form

2008-07-03T20:33:00.003+12:00

The return of Matty Cantwell (pictured) and Jamie Johnston provided firepower for Rovers in a return to form at the Shed of Dreams. "I probably should confess it also saw the return of Player Chariman George Nash who played part of both halves up front" said Hall "but he looked a bit underdone and struggled to find both the net and his breath". Rovers dominated the match and Ben White was also back to form showing his ability to hit the net from a defensive position. "It's always good to have a number of threats as the opposition find it hard to close everyone down" said Hall "so with Matty and Jamie doing the damage up front and Ben, John and Dan capable of scoring as well we had plenty of options". Hall said the game was largely over by half time against a team that had one two out of three like Rovers. "After today we are in second place and their are four teams all on 19 points" said Hall "It's going to be a great race and we play Mercer next week who knocked of Els Gaye this afternoon".

Final: Rovers 11 Datacom 5

Spanish Stroll

2008-06-30T20:23:00.001+12:00

Zephy Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he thought Rovers were more like the Spanish than the Germans after watching the Euro 2008 final this morning. "Clearly the Germans are methodicial and the Spanish have more flair" said Hall "and I think we're more a flair team than a bunch of robots". Hall admitted that he had considered robots for the team but had found they weren't quite up to scratch. "I got hold of one of those Lost In Space DVD's and watched the robot in going on about danger danger" said Hall "I tend to think we don't need a defender who flpas his arms and yells stuff out without doing anything". Hall said he thought Torres had showed a lot of pace. "He reminded me a lot of myself when I was his age" said Hall "the only difference is he earns a lot of money and I was somehow overlooked".

Gaye Old Time

2008-06-27T20:13:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers had three players shortly before kick off today against defending Division 1 Chapions Els Gaye. "We eventually got there will the help of a Mercer player and we played really well for most of the match" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but whilst we had more territory and more shots, we lacked players like Jamie and Matt to put them away". Hall said the game was very close until the last few minutes. "It was 4 - 4 at one point but I went in the outfield for the last five minutes" said Hall "and I opened up quite a few gaps in my own defence and Ben (pictured) in goal got to experience what is like to give the opposition free shots on goal". Hall said it was encouraging though with an understrength team to run the champions close. "We know we can beat them on our day and as long as we make the top four we'll get our chance" said hall "we'll have to get on the winning track again next week".

Rovers 4 Els Gaye 7

Rovers Versus Champions

2008-06-23T20:05:00.003+12:00

Zephyr Rovers have been hit by injuries and unavailability ahead of their match on Friday against current Division 1 champions Els Gaye. "We're playing the current best team in town, a position we aim to be in by 30 June 2030" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "and although we have a squad of ten, we currently haven't got five players for kick off due to injuries and overseas commitments". Hall said at least part of winning an indoor championship was actually finding people who could play the difficult kick off times like 2 pm on a Friday. "It's not the most sort after kick off time in town" said Hall "but with the current injury woes we can barely field a team at any time". Hall said Rovers faced an uphill battle but would put up a fight. "We're not going to roll over and I think it will be tight" predicted Hall "but I think if we had all our players available we'd have a good chance of toppling them".

Heroic Effort Sees Rovers Through

2008-06-20T23:16:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers were reduced to four men for the fixture today at the Shed of Dreams before picking up a passer by and putting him straight into the midfield. "We got Joe from Els Gaye to play for us and he did pretty well considering he always waers jeans when he plays" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and we certainly needed the extra player as harp Shooters looked a bit strong than the team we played a fortnight ago". Hall said it was a fairly even fixture although Rovers stayed ahead for much of the match. "We were going pretty well until the last five minutes when we ran out of a bit of puff from having no subs" said Hall "I know I had to make quite a few saves in the end and they sneaked two or three goals to make the score respectable". Hall said it was good to get in some keeping practice but with champions Els Gaye coming up next week he was hoping to muster a stronger team. "It's one of the features of this time of the year that football players get injured" said Hall "so we might yet be looking to find some extra talent to boost the squad in coming weeks". Hall said Rovers were definitely looking for a top four place and he thought they would get there as long as they could keep putting five players on the pitch. "We were lucky today as even with injures we had a solid defence and we still have players like Jamie (pictured) who can bang them in the net" said Hall "but a couple more useful guys to call up in a crisis wouldn't go astray".

Final: Rovers 7 Harp Shooters 5

Injuries and Unavailability

2008-06-19T23:05:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers were tonight reeling ahead of their match with Harp Shooter tomorrow at the Shed of Dreams. "We've built up a strong squad of ten to cover us for injuries and unavailability" said Rovers manager Steve Hall "but we've currently got only four of the regular squad available for tomorrow so we're struggling". Hall said injuries had hit Mystery Matt, Peter Perfect and Nigel and Eddie had now played his last game for over a month as he was off on an overseas trip for several weeks. "I'm thinking of renaming us the globetrotters" said Hall "we've got Eddie in Ireland, John in Italy and Matty in Oz in coming weeks, and if I go to Palmy North for the weekend then we can say we've gone to the four corners of the Earth". Hall said many underestimated the value of Palmerston North as a holiday venue. "You can get away from the big smoke, watch wheelies outside of Maccas and still be back in time to play your indoor footy during the week" confessed Hall "and I'm told it even has a Warehouse for shopping". Hall said he expected Rovers to account for Harp Shooters as long as five players were available.

Go Tiger

2008-06-17T21:54:00.003+12:00

Zephyr Rovers manager Steve Hall said this morning he was always willing to learn from other sports in his bid to get Zephyr Rovers to the top of Wellington indoor sports by 30 June 2030. "I was watching Tiger Woods this morning winning the US Open and it reminded me a bit of George Nash (pictured), and a little bit about myself" said Hall. Hall claimed that Tiger was obviously playing with an injury and that reminded him of George. "Playing on whilst not a 100% is certainly something that George would do" said Hall "whilst what I recognised about myself is the fierce drive to win". Hall said the never say die attitude of Woods was something Rovers needed in the big games. "I think the big thing in indoor football is to be able to come from behind and win" said Hall "we're not going to win every game from scoring first and staying ahead". Hall said he had had no report on when Nash would be back in the team but it would "no doubt be before he is 100%".

Italian Interest

2008-06-15T21:47:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this evening that he was at a loss to explain the sudden interest in Zephyr Rovers from Italy. "I'm told by our web master that we've had well over two hundred hits from Italy in the last two days" said Hall "I'm guessing it has something to do with John Cao (pictured) although even he can't know that many people surely". Hall said he would be happy to accept offers from Italian players to play in the tough and competitive Wellington lunch time five a side league. "I'm not sure their national team is going so well lately and they may have a few people wanting to leave the country shortly" said Hall "we're prepared to pay at least twice what we pay John for the right player". Hall said he felt Rovers should cash in on the Italian interest. "I'm happy to take Rovers on tour to Italy if the right finance is offered".

Black Friday

2008-06-13T19:07:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) today advised the entire Rovers squad to lie low for twenty four hours to ensure that there were no mishaps to the squad resulting from Black Friday bad luck. "We don't want to see Pete Roberts twisting his neck to match is stuffed knees" said Hall "and George needs to be careful he doesn't over extend his delicate bits or he'll never make a come back". Hall said a bit of reverse psychology was needed on these sort of days. "The obvious way to ward of any bad karma is to go to the Black Harp and have a beer or three" said Hall "let's face it you're never going to have bad luck in an Irish pub on a black Friday, what are the chances of that?". No points have yet been entered in yet in the Division 1 League table apart from those for paying fees on time. "I suppose you could say that is bad luck" said Hall "we were outside of the top four before we'd even played a game".

Stunning Start

2008-06-11T20:06:00.005+12:00

Zephyr Rovers opened their Division 1 campaign with a thrashing of Don Logan FC at the Shed of Dreams this afternoon. "I think it is stunning that with so many players out we can still field a strong team and beat a team that has previously given us a lesson or two" said Hall "we took them to the cleaners in the first spell and it was amazing to be 7 - 0 up at half time, even though Pete Roberts (pictured) had a gammy leg". Hall said Dan Lee slotted in very well at left back and scored a few long range goals in the first half. "We had threat all over the park from Matt and Pete up front to John and Dan at the back" said Hall "but we also looked very steady at the back and they didn't get much of a look in". Hall said Rovers kept the heat on for the first part of the second half and were at one point and got out to 10 - 0. "We then brought Glen on for a run and with the chnages in position we lost a bit of tempo" said Hall "but we were going well until the last two minutes when we let them have three unanswered goals". Hall said it didn't matter due to the lead but Rovers would have to go to the end if they were to beat the top teams. "One win doesn't amke a season" said Hall "and if the boys don't pay up we're not going to get the ten competition points either which will make it tough".

Final: Rovers 12 Don Logan FC 5

Burn Out

2008-06-10T19:52:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said several players including Nigel Burn (pictured) were unavailable for the opening fixture of the Division 1 season against Don Logan FC at the Shed of Dreams. "We've lost Nigel, Eddie, Jamie, George and possibly Ben" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "those guys would make a pretty strong team all by themselves so we're going to see how good our squad depth is right from the first match". Hall said with Pete Roberts also having a dodgy knee, Rovers would be down to the bare five. "I might have to get Glen back in as cover as he did pretty well last week" said Hall " and we can always use Pete in goal if it gets really desperate". Hall said he hadn't forgotten that Don Logan FC beat Rovers 9 - 4 last season before Rovers beat them in the final by 9 - 6. "We've had two very good tussles against them and I guess you could say they're winning on aggregate" said Hall "but also we won the one that mattered so they're the ones who have something to prove".

Mystery Out Of His Shell

2008-06-08T19:34:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall indicated this afternoon that bringing Mystery Matt Cantwell out of his shell would be a key to doing well in the coming season. "He can be a bit shy and reserved although I think he likes his football to do the talking" said Hall "but really we don't want him wearing his shirt over his head too often as he might forget where the goal is and who knows hew might fire goals past me". Hall said it was important to use the skills of Cantwell in the opposing half off the field. "I saw Matty play for two or three minutes in goal last week and I can tell you he is no Gordan Banks" said Hall "and just quietly he won't be regularly at the heart of our defence even if he does play sweeper for his eleven a side team". Organisation is all important in this league and putting Matty up front is one of the easier team selections I make each week" explained Hall "he makes me nervous when he gets the ball right in front of my goal".

Squad Rotation

2008-06-06T18:55:00.000+12:00

With Zephyr Rovers now confirmed as a Division 1 side again, manager Steve Hall says Rovers are better placed than previously to do well in the big time. "We have a bigger stronger squad than last time around" said Hall "but we're going to need a bit of squad rotation as several players are heading off overseas for stints and ensuring we have a team out some weeks will be a challenge". Hall said four Friday games would be interesting as we know Friday lunch time is a popular networking time. "It's not uncommon for a football manager to go scouting on a Friday" said Hall "and it is certainly and opportunity to discuss tactics with interested parties although there not as many interested parties as I'd like". Hall said ensuring you get a squad on the park is an important dimension of of indoor football. "You could have the best five players in New Zealand in your squad but if they can never play you're stuffed" said Hall "we have a good talent base and the two key factors this season in doing well will be playing to our potential and getting a team to the game".

Harp Shooters Shot Down

2008-06-04T20:49:00.003+12:00

The late arrival of Mystery Matt Cantwell at half time did not dent the enthusiasm of the Rovers team as they took on the Harp Shooters in the Shed of Dreams today. "We drafted in Glen Rhodes (pictured) for the first half and he did pretty well scoring two of our goals" said Hall "and we were looking very strong defensively with both Eddie and Ben in the line up, although we gave Eddie a treat and played him up the park for quite a bit of the half". Hal said Rovers controlled the game defensively and he had very little to do in goal for the whole match. "It's great when the defence in front of you gives virtually no chances" said Hall "so it was just a matter of time before we found a way through their defence although it was never going to be a high scoring game". Hall said the arrival of Cantwell added another dimension and he performed his usual section of mazey dribbles. "He dribbles so much I worry they'll never be able to clean the court up later" said Hall "but we're getting him trained to a pass it every now and again and it provides that nice little surprise element" Hall said it was his third ever clean sheet in this match and going into a Division 1 campaign with the defence operating so well was a bonus. "We've tightened up ever since we got a lesson by Hayden's" said hall "although we'll no doubt see those guys in the guise of Els Gaye before long".

Final: Rovers 5 Harp Shooters 0

White Back In The Fold

2008-06-03T20:11:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said it would be great to have Ben White back in the team for the fixture tomorrow against Harp Shooters at the Shed of Dreams. "Ben was a stalwart of this team for several seasons before getting injured and having all of last season off" said Hall "and I'm sure we'll benefit not only from his defensive qualities this season but his ability to get forward and ping a hard shot in from distance". Hall said beating Harp Shooters would certainly confirm a return to Division 1 for Rovers. "If we can beat three Division 1 team in the grading game than I'm pretty sure we'll be a threat in Division 1" said Hall "not withstanding you can't afford to have too many off days in that division". Hall said several players would rest tomorrow due to niggling injuries but Rovers now had a squad that could cope with some key players being rested. "We've got strength across the whole squad and having depth is a key to consistency in Division 1" said Hall "so I think with the balance we have now and the experience we'll be competitive".

No Comment On Nash Voice Change

2008-06-01T20:33:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall would neither confirm nor deny media reports the Chairman George Nash was speaking in a very high voice after his operation yesterday. "I always thought he spoke a bit funny anyway" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we're not going to let the media dine out on what is essentially a private matter and George will be back even if he does squeak like a mouse or a squirrel". Hall was confident Nash would make a full recovery. "He told me a few days back he was expecting to play better after he was fixed up" said Hall "but we're taking that one cautiously and I'm not expecting the second coming Maradona or anything at this stage". Hall said was certain that if Nash could squeak for the ball then he'd still have a chance Matty Cantwell would pass it to him but "he shouldn't expect to much over the first few months back".

Sacrifice for Hall

2008-05-29T20:24:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed today he had nothing special planned for the weekend other than studying the form guide for Euro 2008 and planning where to watch the games. "I went out and bought the FourFourTwo guide and I'll have to study the form guide over the next week so I know which teams to watch" said Hall "it is not often appreciated the hours of dedication needed to watch a tournament like this so that I can glean the latest football trends to pass on to the Rover squad". Hall said it was a long and tiring job but he was prepared to make the sacrifice to get Rovers further ahead. "We don't want to leave any stone unturned in our quest to win Division 1 by 30 June 2030" said Hall "and if I can accelarate the process and win it by 2029 you know I'm going to go all out for it".

Whites Trounced

2008-05-28T23:31:00.005+12:00

With a host of players away and Mystery Matt Cantwell (pictured) turning up a good ten minutes late, Zephyr Rovers still had too much firepower for first division Whites winning 11 goals to 3. "We hardly broke into a sweat really and I didn't even realise it was Whites until after the match" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "they looked more like a tenth division side to me". In another shock result, a new team Accme Strikers toppled Ten Left Feet with w 4 - 3 win. "I have to admit Jamie and I were playing in that one as well so it had a Zephyr flavour to it" said Hall "but it was still pretty awesome to beat them again with a different team". Hall said he couldn't see anything standing in the way now of Zephyr Rovers first division status. "We know there are some good teams up there" said Hall "but we fear no one at present and we certainly are worth a bet for top four if we confirm our place in the league".

Final: Rovers 11 Whites 3

Under The Kosh

2008-05-27T21:17:00.002+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said Zephyr Rovers would be under the kosh tomorrow against mystery opponents at the Shed of Dreams. "We seem to have most of our players away either injured, ill or needing to be elsewhere" said Hall "so we might have to draft in a new player or two for this match". Hall said being under the kosh wasn't quite as bad as being under the knife. "George has a date with the surgeon this week and wouldn't you know all the newspaper has reported on all week is minor surgery that has gone wrong" said Hall "so whilst we'll be feeling the heat on the pitch poor old George will also be at the sharp end of a result". Hall said Rovers would certainly be competitive. "We'll be relying on Mystery Matt to show up" said Hall "and then it is just a matter of the five selcted players not getting injured until after full time".

Burn Off

2008-05-25T16:31:00.004+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall denied this afternoon that Nigel Burn was set to leave the club. "Nigel was a major contributor to our championship winning season and the partnership he had at the back with Eddie Hussey in those play off games was a key part of our success" said Hall "but the truth is Nigel wants to rest his knees a bit so we might have to pick and choose which matches he actually plays in". Hall said team management would be trickier this season with a number of absences expected through injury, overseas trips and surgical operations. "We've not got the planner out yet to see when we might need extra players" said Hall "but if Graeme Little want a game then this would be a good time to get in touch with me". Hall said Rovers would always be keen to talk to quality players who would fit in to a Division 1 side. "We're not precious about who we sign" said Hall "we'd even sign a Welshmen if he could score five time a game, especially if his name was Giggs".

Chelski Slip Up

2008-05-23T18:47:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers manager Steve Hall declared the morning a success after he booking a table for ten to watch the Champions League final between Manchester United and Chelsea on Thursday morning. "After we beat Ten Left Feet the day before I thought it would be the perfect week if Manyoo won the title" said Hall "but I was counting on it being so close and it was fabulous when Terry missed that penalty". Hall said that it was rare to get a penalty in indoor and unheard of to import artificial turf for the surface. "We play indoor on concrete" said Hall "and even though it is covered with some sort of mat, it feels like sand paper on concrete when you fall over on it". Hall said Terry was paid more in a year than the entire Rovers squad. "It shows you can still miss an opportunity even when you're paid millions of dollars a year" said Hall "it makes my misses look quite cheap really".

Mystery Out Of His Shell

2008-05-21T19:05:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers comfortably beat Ten Left Feet today at the Shed of Dreams in the first grading game of the new season. "We knew drawing a top four Division 1 team from last season would be a big test" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we were quite pleased to find ourselves out to a 4 - 0 lead at half time without the opposition firing so much as a pop gun". Hall said the first half was quiet in goal and he'd kept himself busy studying the Euro 2008 draw. "They came out fighting in the second half and out a little pressure on us early on" said Hall "I think I made two saves before late in the game they sneaked on following a deflection to ruin my clean sheet". Hall said that it was a good match with Rovers dominant. "I feel Mystery Matty Cantwell (pictured) is coming out of his shell" said Hall "we saw half his face at one point today". Hall said Rovers had provided Ten Left Feet with a lesson in football and "we must be in Division 1 after that".

Final: Rovers 6 Ten Left Feet 1

Season In Review

2008-05-20T23:11:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had to be pleased with the Division 2 title win and he was looking forward to returning to Division 1. "We were a bit hairy at the end of the Division 1 season the one before last" said Hall "so despite the odd poor performance in Division 2, we restored some faith in ourselves by winning the league". Hall said adding Jamie Johnson (pictured) had made a difference. "I was a bit concerned about adding a second Scotsmen to the squad but it has turned out alright" said Hall "Jamie seems to quite like his shirt and we've promised to give him the shorts and socks if he stays with the team". Pete Roberts also went from an occasional player to a regular. "Once Pete got that step over out of his system he really started to perform well consistently" said Hall "I think he has been spending hours watching video of Stevie Gerrard, although we had to confiscate the Cristiano Ronaldo tapes as they'd give him the wrong idea".

Black Eyed Smith

2008-05-18T21:16:00.000+12:00

Former Rovers player Charlie Smith made the long trek from Perth to Wembley to see Portsmouth win the FA Cup against Cardiff. "This was a once in a life time opportunity and I just had to be there" said Smith "it was well worth the trip and I'll be back next year if when they defend it". Smith didn't get to get his mits on the trophy but got a take away reminder of his own. "I git a bit of a shiner after the match" said Smith "the result of some exuberant post-match celebrations". Smith not known for keeping his trap shut was nonetheless happy to have been their for the big occasion "and a black eye or three isn't going to stop be celebrating in the stlye the occasion deserves". It was unclear at the time of writing if Smith would make the return flight to Perth on time due to him being disoreinetated following excessive alcohol intake.

Celebrate

2008-05-16T22:45:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers celebrated the Division 2 Championship win this evening with a function at sponsor Zephyr Rovers. "We've been sponsored now for several seasons by Zephyr Consulting and we're very happy to have added the Division 2 trophy to their trophy cabinet" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and we certainly we hope to be adding the Division 1 trophy by 30 June 2030, if not before". Hall said it was important to celebrate winning championships and winning Division 2 was an important milestone on the way to a Division 1 title. "We've been away and regrouped and now we're ready to have a crack at the big time again" said Hall "but we'll have to do well in the grading games otherwise we might find our win doesn't count for much". Hall said several players would be away on overseas jaunts in the coming season as well as Goerge Nash going under the surgeons knife. "You know when you've got players away on overseas trips and getting medical procedures that you're starting to compete with the big boys" said Hall "now all we need is five physiotherapists like Man Yoo".

Division 2 Champions

2008-05-14T12:17:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers were crowned Division 2 Champions this morning at the Shed of Dreams after the skillfully dismantled the Don Logan FC team in a competitive final. "I knew we'd be up for the match because we didn't play them at full throttle last time when they beat us 9 -5" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we've learnt to adjust our game to the opposition in the last few weeks and I knew we'd be at our best for this one". Rovers controlled the game from the start and good passing and tough defense made it very hard for the Don Logan team to get a look in. "I admit I wasn't too concerned about the earlier game we lost because if anything it would make them over confident" said Hall "and we were only up 3 - 2 at half time but it is always the second half in these games where the good teams gain traction".

Hall said Rovers had grown over the season and were now looking like they could push on to the next level. We were shaky at the end of the last season but we've got a very solid team after this campaign and I think we're ready for another crack at Division 1 next season". Hall said he didn't want to single out any player as the whole team had put in a good performance. "That's our third divisional trophy and we also have a Division 1 plate trophy as well" indicated Hall "but I think that was the sweetest yet because we're one step away now from our goal of winning Division 1 by 30 June 2030". Hall said he'd expect to see Don Logan in Division 1 next season and thought Rovers could push on and challenge for a Division 1 top four place.

Final: Rovers 9 Don Logan FC 6

It's United

2008-05-12T04:47:00.003+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall was still digesting what he had learnt from watching Manchester United win the Premiership this morning. "I think what I learnt was if you stay up all night you get tired" said Hall "and if I stay up all night before our final on Wednesday I won't play very well and will be grumpy with everyone". Hall said it was however good to see United win the first leg of the double. "It was great to see Chelsea pipped at the post and next week they'll hopefully lose the Champions League final" said Hall "by then Rovers should also have the trophy in the cabinet". Hall said he'd be taking more from Manchester United than he would be from Manchester City. "City got an 8 - 1 hiding and I think they were trying to get an indoor football score to see off their manager" quipped Hall "it's a tough job being at the helm and if we lose the final 8 - 1 then I'll cry". Hall said it had been a long day as he'd also watch Waitakere win the O league with a five nil win in horrible conditions in Auckland and had observed "it was better to play indoors on a crap day".

Don Logan In Final

2008-05-11T12:05:00.003+12:00

Zephyr Rovers will face top qualifier Don Logan FC in the grand final of Division next Wednesday at the Shed of Dreams. "This is a really tough assignment as these guys only were beaten once in the round robin and gave us a hiding" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we'll really be up against it and we'll have to be on top of our game to be in the running". Hall said he'd be getting up in the small hours of the morning to watch Manchester United and Chelsea battle out the Premiership. "I think we know about pressure games at Rovers" said Hall "but we're not getting paid squillions like these guys so I'll be interested to see what I can learn from how the top players react to pressure". Hall said he had developed a way to deal with the pressure of big games. "We all feel pressure in these big games and it can be nerve jangling playing in the goal" said Hall "so I've found a really useful way for me to dissipate it is to scream and yell at George". Hall said this might not initially seem a good leadership approach it had worked quite well. "Scotsman are used to being screamed at" said Hall "it reminds them of Glasgow (pictured)".

Whores Hosed

2008-05-09T18:21:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers today took a huge step to the Division 2 when they turned around a previous loss to Hayden's Whores to take out the semi-final 9 - 5. "It was a game of three thirds" said Zephyr Manager Steve Hall "we won the first third by hard graft and got out to a 3 or 4 goal lead" said Hall "then we fell to pieces and it was 4 - 3 to us at half time before we found ourselves behind shortly into the second half". Hall said Rovers steeled themselves and suddenly found form again. "It was one of those classic games where we got ahead and then they pulled it back" said Hall "so we were either going to fold at that point or get back to how we had been playing, and fortunately we had the legs and scored the next five unanswered". Hall said semi-final football was all about pressure and Rovers had certainly been under some. "What was great is we pretty much stuck to our pattern for 80% of the game" said Hall "but when we didn't we got punished". Hall said that the defensive pairing of Hussey (pictured) and Burn was what made the difference. "We know we have some very good attacking players" said Hall "but if we don't take care of the back then we can get done over, and Nigel and Eddie were both rocks today".

Hall said it was great to reach another final which would be played at 11 am next Wednesday at the Shed of Dreams.

Final: Rovers 9 Hayden's 5

Full Squad Available

2008-05-08T11:36:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall admitted he had a selection quandary ahead of the semi-final tomorrow against Hayden's Whores at the Shed of Dreams. "We've got Pete Roberts (left) returning to full fitness and and as you know he is the Stevie Gerrard (right) of the southern hemisphere in his own mind" said Hall "so it can get quite difficult when you're dealing with the ego of some of these players". Hall said however it was the best possible position to be in to have a full and fully fit squad. "We could play everyone under the rules but we know from experience that the interchange gets pretty tricky if you have too many subs" said Hall "so I'll let George make the decision as long as he puts me on the team sheet". Hall said he was looking forward to the occasion and he was sure the Shed would be packed to the rafters. "We're even expecting a spectator might turn up" said Hall "but we're not expecting to break the record as we couldn't get hold of rent a crowd so we'll have to grab a few people from Dockside on the way past and bribe them with free drinks".

Division 1 Ambitions

2008-05-06T20:45:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash told reporters today that it was too soon to be thinking about next season as there was still a job to be done in winning Division 2. "We see some of our old rivals struggling at the bottom of Division 1, and we know these are teams we have beaten previously" said Nash "but that's all to be looked at later has we want to win Division 2 and if we get distracted by looking ahead we'll be out of the competition next Friday". Nash confirmed it was still the ambition of the club to win Division 1 by 30 June 2030. "We're not a club that loses sight of it's vision" said Nash "I think we need to have the building blocks right and continue to build the squad to challenge the Division 1 big guns". Nash confirmed he may not be playing next season as he may have to go under the knife. "I can't say too much to the media but I can say it isn't a breast enhancement or a any other sort of enlargement" said Nash "but I will be out for a few weeks which will give me a chance to sort out the back room at the club".

Little Interest

2008-05-04T20:14:00.001+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall today admitted the recent retirement of Team Wellington striker Graeme Little from eleven a side football had again renewed speculation that Zephyr Rovers would be chasing his signature for the indoor game. "You know these Scotsman like to play with each other" said Hall "and I know that our Chairman knows Graeme so once a few weeks go by and he gets sick of watching TV, we think he'll see that playing indoor and scoring twenty goals a game for Rovers is an attractive proposition". Hall admitted Rovers were looking for a big name signing. "Yes we'd like to sign a big name" said Hall "at the moment we only have eight letter names so if we can't find anyone else I'm changing Matty's name to Cantwellski because everyone has to sound eastern European these days to be a big name". Hall said he'd be talking to the Chairman about using his influence to persuade Little of the wisdom of playing for Rovers. "We're prepared look at buying Bagpipes and a kilt if it will persuade him" said Hall "as long as Amazing Grace doesn't become our theme song".

It's Finals Time

2008-05-02T10:50:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers will take on old foe Hayden's Whores next Friday at the Shed of Dreams. "I know we've got all this European footy going on at the moment and we've seen a few knock out games lately" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "so we're finally coming up to our own version of sudden death and we're playing a team that gave us a spanking last time". Hall said he was planning nothing special by way of training because "if the guys aren't haunted by that last loss and want revenge, then there is very little else I can do to motivate them". Hall said it didn't matter how you qualified for the finals as long as you got in the top four. "Once you are at knock out phase it doesn't matter diddly squat where you got in the league and what you won by" said Hall "and we have a history of rising to the big occasions so let's hope we can do it all again".

Rovers Take Talented Ones

2008-04-30T19:54:00.006+12:00

Publicity shy Astronomically Talented were today edged out by Rovers at the Shed of Dreams, but by considerably less than they were thrashed in the first round. "We'd been watching their results and we knew they were improving and had had some very good results" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so we weren't taking it easily by any means". Rovers leapt out to an early three nil lead before the team went to sleep defensively to allow the Talented two quick goals. "We had much more possession and territory and quite a bit of individual flair" said Hall "but when we turned the ball over we looked a bit ragged in turning to defend and they pinged in more shots than I wanted to see". Hall said things could have been worse but Eddie Hussey (pictured) did a very good job of last second shot blocking. "We're going to get taken to pieces in the semi-final unless we show more commitment to getting back and marking" said Hall "I lost count of the number of saves I made or shots that went whizzing near the posts".

Rovers 7 Astronomically Talented 5

No White And The Seven Dwarfs

2008-04-29T19:42:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed the much anticipated return of former star player Ben White had been delayed further after he'd injured some other part of his body. "Ben hasn't played a full game now for quite some time and we think he must have taken up yoga or something and it is stuffing his body" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "he used to be our key player and made the other seven squad members look like dwarfs, but now he is showing signs of old age". Hall said Rovers were missing Whites ability to hit hard shots into the net from distance. "Ben used to get over half way and let loose" saiid Hall "no disrespect to the current squad but they seem to want to dribble it into the net all the time". Hall blamed the influence of Cristiano Ronaldo for all the dribbling that has been going on. "I've watched Ronaldo play so often recently I'm even doing step overs in my goalkeeping area" said Hall "the boys need to study tapes of Peter Lorimer, even if he was from Scotland".

Cantwell Wants Alarm Clock

2008-04-27T19:30:00.004+12:00

After failing to turn up to his fifth or sixth Rovers match Mystery Matt Cantwell has admitted he wants the club to buy him an alarm clock. Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall confirmed that they had got used to Cantwell's unreliability and confirmed he gets a surprise when he turns up. "I'm thinking of getting him an electronic bracelet with a global positioning system" said Hall "the idea is we could give him electric shocks remotely until he finds himself at the Shed of Dreams". Hall said they'd tried reminding Cantwell on the morning of the match but nothing seemed to work completely. "Matty has been known to arrive at matches after half time so you always wonder if he is coming late" said Hall "he's not a bad sub to have because once he arrives he always remembers what the ball looks like - so far". Hall said Rovers were looking for sponsorship for a permanent minder for Cantwell as "he may respond to a permanent flea in his ear" as nothing else seems to work.

Smith Tells Mrs - Still Alive

2008-04-25T19:19:00.000+12:00

Former Rovers player Charlie Smith has finally told his Mrs what the rest of the world already knew - that he had purchased plane and ground tickets to fly to London to see Portsmouth play Cardiff in the FA Cup Final. "We were wondering what Mrs Smith would say after he broke the news" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but shje apparently approved as she knew what it meant to Charlie to see Pompey in the final". Hall said he doubted Smith would be wearing his scummer shirt to the big occasion. "If I didn't have the photograhic evidence I'd have never believed it possible Charlie would waer that shirt" said Hall "but if he wants to stay alive more than ten seconds I suggest he not wear it anywhere near Pompey or Cardiff fans". Hall said he'd usually support the underdog but as Cardiff were the opposition he was hoping both sides could somehow lose.

West-I's Wasted

2008-04-23T22:51:00.005+12:00

Zephyr Rovers today comprehensively wasted West-I's in a Division 2 clash at the Shed of Dreams. "We were expecting the TV to be there to cover a star of the internet but it was surprisingly low key" said Hall "in fact once Jamie got up a head of steam he was unstoppable". Hall said West-I's turned out to be a bit like West Ham, lacking much attacking penetration. "Matty even forgot to turn up for the fixture, we think he fell asleep at his computer screen whilst studying how Riise managed to score for Chelsea with a close range own goal". Sometime Liverpool follower was out injured and therefore wasn't able to provide comment on why Liverpool scored an own goal under no pressure but Hall said maybe it was "Grobellar all over again". Rovers meanwhile never looked under pressure and George Nash even found time to score from a Hall delivered pass. "You know when George is scoring from near half way the oppo has gone to sleep" said Hall "and I'd have played a blinder if I'd touched the ball more than twice".

Final: Rovers 8 West-I's 2

Internet Star To Play Rovers

2008-04-21T22:40:00.003+12:00

Zephyr Rovers match against West-I's on Wednesday took on a new dimension when it was announced that the opposition have signed the star of You Tube show "Blocker's Premier League Predictions". Keith Block the former Porirua City Masters striker will be turning out for the West I's side and is expected to add some charisma to their squad. "I knew Blocker before he turned Greek and went to Olympic" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "he's the Porirua version of Matt y Cantwell only much much bigger". Hall said he had been watching Blocker's Internet show for some time and said their were things Rovers could learn from the Internet stars approach. "He doesn't exactly have a flash studio, in fact he sticks bits of paper on the wall as a back drop" said Hall "and it is a good reminder that Rovers shouldn't get too flashy in the match tomorrow as we only beat this team 5 - 2 last time round". Hall said he was confident Rovers had the team to take out the match.

Roberts Injured by Centipede

2008-04-19T21:27:00.001+12:00

Pete Roberts was injured today in an outdoor match and will be out for weeks. "Apparently Pete was doing one of his step overs and tripped over a centipede" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "reports directly from his team mates said he squealed like a pig for several minutes until the referee finally noticed him and got him to go and scream back in the changing rooms". Roberts is famous for his step over, a move that has frequently even sent him the wrong way. "I thing I saw the step over work once but it was largely because the wind was blowing hard and the ball accidentally went in the direction that Pete went in" said Hall "I guess you get it right by chance every now and then". Hall said his own speciality the drag back was of limited use as an indoor goalkeeper because "no one is allowed inside my penalty area".

Clean Sheet

2008-04-17T21:18:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he was proud of the way the team bounced back in their fixture against Rothenbury Rangers today at the Shed of Dreams, keeping a clean sheet. "We were awful a week earlier but in this match Rothenbury were out classsed and never really got into the match" said Hall "and if I may say I must have been exceptional in goal because they never scored at all". Former Rovers player Rob Purcell was out with injury but Rangers played Dan Lee at the back. "In fairness to Dan he was easily their best player and if anyone was going to score for them it was him" said Hall "but in the end he had to resort to long range pot shots and fortunately I had them all covered". Pete Roberts was unavailable and this left the twin strike force for Rovers on Jamie Johnson and Matty Cantwell. "These lads both have tricky skills" said Hall "you just have to be sure they don't run into each other too often as the mazy dribbles have a certain random look to them". Hall said it was about his third clean sheet in indoor football.

Final: Rovers 10 Rangers 0

Sleeping With The Enemy

2008-04-16T21:08:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers players Rob Purcell and Dan Lee have been transferred to Rothbury Rangers who Rovers play tomorrow in a Division 2 championship match at the Shed of Dreams. "I understand the lads want to get more game time and that is understandable" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but it was a bit of a shock seeing them pop up playing for the team that we play this week". Hall said he thought both players would add something different to the Rangers squad. "The truth is Rob adds something to every team he plays for these days" said Hall "and it is usually in the form of bits of his body falling off his aging frame". Hall said he wasn't saying Purcell was past it but he was playing at his best about the same time as Sir Stanley Mathews. "I heard Rob used to clean his boots" said Hall "or was it lick his boots, I forget". Hall said he expected Rovers to over-power Rangers.

Few Changes Likely

2008-04-15T20:57:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rover Manager expected to field much the same line up this week although the return of Eddie Hussey would stiffen the defence. "We don't want to insinuate at all that Eddie is stiff" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "it's more that the rest of the team looked a bit limp last week so anything else seems stiff by comparison". Hall said he'd considered extra training for the squad. "Yes I looked at the possibility of getting some fitness training in at the Black Harp (pictured) but unfortunately after last weeks performance I wasn't sure if the Zimmer frames would get through the door". Hall said he was confident the poor performance would be rectified in the next game. "Looks like there are two tough teams in this league and we should really beat the rest" said Hall "the challenge is to lift out game to get up to the level of the two teams that have beaten us". Hall said Eddie Hussey was believed to sometimes do sprint work at the Black Harp as he "raced through a Guinness".

Smith Leaves Town

2008-04-13T20:45:00.000+12:00

Reports are sketchy of how former Rovers player Charlie Smith left town but there have been no reports of him having been arrested. "We heard he was last heard of singing football songs in the corridor of the Holiday Inn" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "that sounds so typically Charlie that it is almost certain that he woke up half the hotel". Hall said Smith's whirlwind visit wouldn't easily be forgotten by the patrons of the Loaded Hog. "Charlie certainly has some moves on the dance floor" said Hall "in fact I'm not sure how the floor survives the punishment". Smith is believed to be heading for Auckland via Wanganui. "I'm not sure Wanganui will cope with Charlie" said Hall "he''s a bit exuberant for a small city".

Dance Away Smith

2008-04-11T22:02:00.003+12:00

Former Rovers player Charlie Smith set the dance floor alight when he hit the Loaded Hog on Friday night. "I recall seeing Charlie on the dance floor at Mollies once, it was a sight you couldn't forget even when you wanted to" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall 'and he certainly was treating the Loaded Hog clientele to his own brand of feet shuffling". Hall said he had regrets that he hadn't selected Smith for the match against Hayden's. "I was worried Charlie wouldn't have been able to move fast enough" said Hall "but on reflection we could have plonked him at the back and that would have been an asset. Hall said he expected a solid defender would have cut back Hayden's goals by at least six. "I'm sorry but we have to go back to the basics and playing four poncy stars up front with me at the back isn't working" said Hall "the old two one one formation was proven over many campaigns". Hall said Smith disappeared from the pub and he lost him. "Charlie slipped out of the pub quietly" said Hall "never seen him do that before".

Demolished

2008-04-09T21:25:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers today paid the price for not following the Manager Steve Hall's pre-game instructions. "Firstly it's a bit difficult when two team members don't turn up before the match has started" said Hall "and the others disregard what we talked about before the game". However things got off to a farcical start when Hayden's scored after the ball hit the post. "The referee decided that hitting the post was sufficient to get a goal which is a bizarre decision" said Hall "but it was a taste of things to come as the whole game went to custard". Hall said unfortunately with what was already an attack heavy team, Rovers decided to almost abandon defence. "I don't think the team got it that you can't have four guys playing attack and no one coming back" said Hall "but you notice when you're playing in goal and the opposition keeps getting free potshots at you". Hall said Rovers had learnt the hard way before that you build your game on defence. "Unfortunately our main defender for the day was Nigel and I'm struggling to think when he actually came into our half" said Hall "we'll need to do much better next week as screaming for people to get back as the opposition pick their spot is not my idea of a fun lunch time".

Final: Rovers 4 Hayden's 12

Mystery Virus

2008-04-08T21:18:00.000+12:00

Eddie Hussey will not be available to play for Rovers this week after being struck down by a mystery virus. "That's a strange way to describe Guinness" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but you can never be quite sure what those Irish put into those brews so it could be viral I guess". Hall said the Rovers squad had an unbalanced look to it going into a major game with old rivals Hayden's. "We have a lot of attack minded players and we'll need Nigel to step into the defensive role if we're going to have any chance" said Hall "playing the top teams is based on defence and we can't afford to be caught too far up the pitch". Hall said Hayden's had often used the quick throw out to their striker and Rovers would have to watch that. "I'll be telling the lads to watch him before the match" said Hall.

Never Fear Smith Is Here

2008-04-06T21:51:00.000+12:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this evening he'd stayed up until the wee small hours to see Pompey qualify for the FA Cup Final. "Frankly West Brom played the better football and Pompey's contribution to the game was scoring a fluky goal" said Hall "but no doubt Smith will have a different account of the match when he arrives in Wellington in a few days". Hall confirmed he was not considering Smith for a starting position in the Rovers match on Thursday. "We're playing Hayden's in a top of the table clash and Smith I believe is out playing golf at Karori" said Hall "which is just as well because he wasn't getting a look in unless we were ten up". Hall said there would be a few quiets on Friday night to welcome Smith to town but he would not be going overboard as "we have Masters 1 the next day, football comes first".

Over Powered

2008-04-04T21:43:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rovers today gave Datatorque a lesson in pressure football as they converted a slender 3 - 1 half time lead into a convincing 8 - 1 win. "I'm really pleased with this performance as it was very tight in the first half" said Rover Manager Steve Hall "but we powered over them in the second half and they hardly looked like scoring as we got five unanswered goals past them". Hall said Jamie Johnson was a key influence as he knocked in several goals from difficult positions. "Jamie did really well bit in all honesty John Cao (pictured) has been our key player in recent weeks and we really missed him last week" said Hall " we seem to go better with John's influence in the team and he really holds us together as a unit". Hall said his goalkeeping was also steadying the ship. "I don't want to blow my own trumpet but frankly we looked shaky in defence when I was out injured" said Hall "but now we are starting to look solid again and one goal against is pretty impressive".

Final: Rovers 8 Datatorque 1

Crank It Up

2008-04-03T21:30:00.003+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) has asked his Rovers team mates to crank up their performance a notch for their fixture against Datatorque tomorrow at the Shed of Dreams. "We have a few players out tomorrow and we've had to resort to playing another Scotsman in Jamie Johnston" said Rovers Manager Steve Hall "fortunately the lad is quite quick and has a useful shot on him so he is not our usual sort of ring in". Hall said regulars Cantwell, Roberts and Nash were all out and it could sometimes be a battle with a changed line up. "We actually have a quality side out tomorrow but with a lot of changes you never know how we will go" said Hall "so I'm hoping we'll crank it up a notch or three and dispatch these guys". Hall said in term of the Championship this match was merely a curtain raiser to Hayden's one week later. "We need a win to be comfortable in the top four" said Hall "I'm not sensing any danger but the truth is the higher you finish the better once it gets to the semi-final".

No April Fool Joke

2008-04-01T21:37:00.004+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said it was no April Fools joke that former player Charlie Smith would be back in town inside a fortnight. "I know Charlie will be keen to give Liz and give her earful about Spurs tragic loss to Newcastle yesterday" said Hall "so if she stays away then Charlie will probably get about two people turning up to his 'shout', in other words you get to go out and buy him drinks". Hall said Smith was hoping to play for Rovers but would be put through a fitness test. "If he can get up Mt Vic and back in ten minute with rocks tied to his legs we'll give him a game" said Hall "although it now seems he is taking my example and bolting to the nearest golf course for a round instead". Hall said authorities had been warned about Smith's pending arrival in the city and bouncers would be placed on high alert.

Boot Camp For Nash

2008-03-30T21:29:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall admitted this afternoon he was putting George Nash (pictured) through football boot camp to sharpen his fitness. "George is looking a bit sluggish so I've got him doing extra training with North Wellington and today I've got him playing an outdoor match as well" said Hall "he'll find it a bit strange with no walls and a pitch that is five times as big but I'm sure he'll sweat it out". Hall said he thought Nash was starting to show the benefits of the tougher regime. "I understand he is fitting into kilts that he hasn't got into for years" said Hall "although I must point out I'm not into that cross-dressing thing myself and we won't allow it on the team bus". Hall said Rovers had no intention of replacing shorts with tartan dresses.

When The Going Gets Tough

2008-03-28T21:19:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rover Manager Steve Hall admitted after this weeks loss he felt something like the All Black Manager after the World Cup. "I think I know what Graham Henry felt like when the All Blacks lost at the World Cup" said Hall "but I firmly believe when the going gets tough the tough go to golf". Hall will spend tomorrow recuperating at the Wainui Golf Club as part of a football fund raiser. "I'm not a huge fan of golf or rugby for that matter" said Hall "but I'm sure Graham Henry has the odd round so I figured if it was good enough for him then it was good enough for me".
Hall said some people got a bit excited about rugby and golf but he wasn't sure what the attraction. "I have friends who go nutty over the rugby" said Hall "but I don't think they've experienced the adrenalin rush of a real sport like indoor football, I think they'd see how dull rugby is then".

Outclassed

2008-03-26T22:49:00.000+13:00

Don Logan FC provided Rovers a lesson in football this afternoon at the Shed of Dreams as they overpowered Rovers 9 - 4 after leading narrowly at half time. "We were a bit disjointed going in to the game with John and George out, Matty not expected to turn up and Pete injured" said Hall "but it was no excuse as we just didn't fire against a team that did". Hall said Rovers played at a level that probably would have got them home against the lower ranked teams but didn't lift the cog or two needed to play the top teams. "Don Logan FC converted half chances and moved well off the ball" said Hall "but we never adjusted and I'm convinced next time we play them we can lift our game knowing what is in store". Nonetheless Rovers had their chances and several fell to a Rob Purcell who wasn't 100% after his return from the northern hemisphere. "I won't say Rob should have scored ten, but maybe six was realistic" said Hall "and Matty seemed to defending more than attacking which probably isn't the best way to get the most out of his abilities".

Hall said he thought the top Division Two teams were as good as Division 1 teams so it wasn't a walk in the park to win the division.

Final: Rovers 4 Don Logan 9

Smith Lying Low Again

2008-03-25T22:35:00.001+13:00

Frantic attempts by the media to obtain comment from former Rovers player Charlie Smith have been fruitless as Smith has gone to ground. "Charlie hasn't been heard from since the match" said Liz Pollock (pictured), the president of the Rovers supporters club and Spurs fanatic "we're not even sure if he is still coming to New Zealand to face the music". Smith as been known to "go bush" after a Pompey defeat but sources who did not wish to be named said he was unlikely to miss the opportunity to impose his personality on Wellington in a couple of weeks. "My Charlie is coming ready or not" said the anonymous source "he is just out celebrating the semi-final and final of the FA Cup as he knows who is going to win it". Wellington establishments have been warned of the impending arrival of Smith and extra Police will be on duty during Smith's stay.

In other news, Rovers take on Don Logan FC tomorrow at the Shed of Dreams with kick off at 1.30.

Pompey Will Whip Spurs

2008-03-23T22:27:00.000+13:00

Former Rover Charlie Smith said today he expected Pompey to trounce Spurs this weekend and he would be sure to tell Supporters club president Liz Pollock all about it on his visit to Wellington in a couple of weeks. "Pompey are all class and will whip Spurs on the way to winning the FA Cup" said Smith from his Perth base "I'm already having a few beers in celebration and can't wait until we win the FA Cup as well". Smith confirmed he had still not been picked up by a Perth five a side team. "Unfortunately I never had the video of that five hundred metre volley I scored for Rovers" said Smith "so I've had to approach clubs on my personality alone and they don't seem to be grasping the opportunity in front of them". Smith said he would buy a round if Portsmouth beat Spurs by m,ore than ten. "We're not holding our breath on that one" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "a night out with Charlie generally lightens everyone elses pocket".

Rovers To Play Unbeaten Team

2008-03-21T22:06:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rovers next fixture will be against unbeaten Don Logan F.C after Haydens were surprisingly beaten by them in the latest round of matches. "Any team that beats Haydens must have a bit of quality in the ranks" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured} "Haydens won 20 - 3 the week before then lost to Don Logan F.C". Hall said the fact that the league allowed ten bonus points for paying an administration fee meant the league positions don't always reflect the wins a team has had". Hall said he wasn't planning anything special for the clash and said it was another league game that Rovers would be trying to win. "Our first goal is to make the top four and if we can achieve that we all know it all starts again at the knock out phase" said Hall "we've got off to a good start with three wins and have to play two of the teams we have beaten again in the run in to the finals so we're looking pretty good at present".

Chopper For Charity

2008-03-19T22:23:00.003+13:00

In what Zephyr club Chairman this afternoon described as a "stunning act of charity", Colin 'Chopper' McIntosh has donated the proceeds of his testimonial to charity. "The club is not able to disclose exactly how much is involved because of the privacy act" said Chairman George Nash "but let's say it was at least as much as we expect Charlie Smith to be shouting when he is over here in April". McIntosh declined to comment saying he liked to keep financial matters to himself but said he never believed he would benefit himself from his testimonial and he was happy to do what he could to help those less fortunate than himself.

In other news, title contenders Haydens suffered a surprising defeat at the hands of Rovers next opponents Don Logan FC. "It's a big upset as Haydens won their first two games by miles" said Nash "so we really are up for a big match next Wednesday".

Sleep Deprived Cao KO's New Boots

2008-03-17T22:40:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rovers found themsleves in a tough first half battle this morning at the Shed of Dreams and had battled to a 2 - 2 deadlock when the referee called one minute to go until half time. "This is where we saw the benefits of sleep deprivation as John Cao (pictured) scored two great goals in the last minute to put us ahead at the break by 4 - 2" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "I'm thinking of keeping the whole team up next week if you can play like that without a decent kip". Hall said the second half went on for some time at 4 -2 before the New Boots team got one back after Matty Cantwell stayed up on the edge of the opposition area. "I was busy cursing Matty for his lack of tracking back when I noticed the opposition hadn't tracked back to cover him" said Hall "so after a quick delivery Matty did some sort of back heal flick thing and scored a marvelous goal to redeem himself". Hall said that seemed to break the opposition spirit and Rovers scored three more unanswered goals to romp home. "I don't know why Matty can't toe poke them in like George" said Hall "he has a touch of the extravagant about him at times".

Final: Rovers 8 New Boots 3

New Cao Kid

2008-03-16T22:27:00.000+13:00

John Cao is not expected to get too much sleep before Zephyr's third round match tomorrow after the recent birth of a brand new daughter. "We'd expect he'll be getting about as much sleep as George was last year" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and we all remember how cranky George got". Hall said he was confident that Cao could handle the sleep deprivation for what has been confirmed as the testimonial match for Colin "Chopper" McIntosh. "I know John won't mind not having slept for three days when he becomes aware that all gate takings will be going to Chopper" said Hall "although he might well think he is hallucinating when he sees Chopper actually playing". Hall said he didn't know much about Deightons New Boots but he confirmed Rovers would be looking to stay at the top of the table. "We see ourselves as one of the gun teams in this league" said Hall "and unless we shoot ourselves we're expecting to take this one".

Birthday Boy

2008-03-14T14:25:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said he had no intentions of retiring just because he had reached another birthday milestone. "Sir Stanley Mathews (pictured) played professionally until he was 52 and I'm not even playing professionally at this point in time" said Hall "and I can let it be known that I'm not quite 52 either although it seems to get closer every day". Hall said he expected to spend the day quietly but would give himself a day free of the training ground. "I don't think I'll be doing any shuttles today" said Hall "it is more a day for chocolate cake really". Hall said with Rovers undefeated in the league he could afford to relax for twenty-four hours. "I bought myself Fifa 08 so looks like I'll be taking Port Vale to world domination" said Hall "I'm going to play against Glasgow Rangers and Pompey and kick their butts".

Rovers Too Talented

2008-03-12T23:05:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Rovers demolished the Astronomically Talented team today at the Shed of Dreams. "We gave away a silly goal early on and I was wondering if the guys were tuned in" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "but we went on with it from there and it was clear there was only one talented team on the pitch and it wasn't them". Hall said the highlight of the game was a bit of wizardry from George Nash (pictured) to set up a goal for John Cao. "George was voted four seasons in a row the player least likely to do something tricky" said Hall "but I guess watching Roberts and Cantwell gave him the idea to do a back heal". Hall said it was little wonder the opposition was fooled completely by the move. "I think even they'd figured out George doesn't play the tricky stuff" said hall "so really they had every other option covered but that one". Hall said it was too soon to say whether the move was a one of freakish event. "I'm sure George has been working on that on the training ground" said Hall "so we'll be expecting a bicycle kick next week". Not to be outdone Matty Cantwell chipped the keeper whilst keeping the ball under the regulation height as Rovers romped away to a big win.

Final: Rovers 13 Astronomically Talented 4

Astronomically Talented

2008-03-10T22:17:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rovers play the second match of the Division 2 championship tomorrow at the Shed of Dreams. "We're a bit thin on the numbers but we have Matty Cantwell (pictured) back to torment both the opposition and his own team mates" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "and we'll be working hard on the morning to see he gets to the game". Hall said little was known about the talented outfit but Hall said every team could be a threat at this level. "We've never heard of this lot and we'd be expecting to do well" said Hall "but if we muck about and don't play our game then we'll be hurt". Hall confirmed he'd purchased Fifa 08 and been disappointed to find Rovers weren't featured in it. "The Phoenix are there but there seems to have been a balls up with regard the Rovers" said Hall "perhaps we're in Fifa Street instead".

Testimonial for Chopper

2008-03-09T22:07:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Chairman George Nash says retired Rover Colin "Chopper" McIntosh (pictured) will be granted a testimonial match by the Rovers club. "It's conditional on Glasgow Rovers wanting to come over for a five aside match" said Nash "we're not just playing any old club". Nash said he'd written to Rangers from his hotmail account but had yet to have Rangers confirm they would be taking up the offer. "If Rangers don't deliver then we'll probably have a whip around when Charlie Smith is here" said Nash "and we're not expecting that to raise quite the same amount of money". Nash said it was uncertain if Rovers could drag McIntosh out of retirement for his testimonial. "I heard he seized up and is currently confined to his desk" said Nash "but we'll get him a zimmer frame if need be".

Smith Back

2008-03-07T21:55:00.000+13:00

Former Rovers player Charlie Smith will hit Wellington on 10 April and says he is expecting to get a match for Rovers. "Pompey are going to win the FA Cup and I'm going to win a match for Zephyr Rovers" said Smith from his Perth residence "it will be just like the old days". Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said that he wasn't sure Smith would be selected if he appeared as Rovers would be facing arch rivals Hayden's on that day. "I'm not sure Charlie still has what it takes" said Hall "in fact I'm not sure he ever had what it takes". Smith has invited former team mates out for a big night out on the town the following evening. "He'll be wanting everyone to buy him drinks as per usual" said Hall "we're expecting this to impact the attendance".

Slow Start Good Finish

2008-03-05T19:56:00.001+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) said the dreaded slow start became a reality as Rovers slumped to a 2 - 1 deficit at half time of their Division 2 fixture at the Shed of Dreams. "We were attacking a fair bit but their keeper was keeping us at bay" said Hall "but the scoring opened when I got nutmegged and it is fair to say I wasn't happy that I let that happen". Hall said a half time talk steadied the ship. "I thought if we kept our game going we'd come home in the second half as we so often had before" said Hall "and has it happened we kept a clean sheet in the second half but got four against them" Hall said their was a maturity in the team that prevented panic and Rovers just plugged away at their business. "I wasn't overly troubled in the second half in goal and they were left at taking long range shots" said Hall "and we managed to knock a few in and get our noses ahead". Hall said it was great to get the campaign off with a win but said the match showed Division 2 would be no picnic.

Final: Rovers 5 West-I's 2

Intensity Needed

2008-03-04T19:48:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said that Rovers would have to get over their 21 - 1 thrashing of Toitu Te Whenua if they were to compete well in their opening Division 2 fixture. "Let's face it they weren't a strong team and we're not going to face a team like that in Division 2" said Hall "if we don't lift our game a notch then we might find this first match a very tough assignment". Hall said little was known of the opposition The West-I's but they were certain to be competitive. "We've signed up Pete Roberts and we'll have Eddie Hussey (pictured) back in the team so I think we've got a strong line up" said Hall "hopefully we'll be able to turn out a consistent team regularly although we won't be seeing Matty Cantwell much if at all". Rovers kick off the season at the Shed of Dreams at 1 pm.

It's Division 2

2008-03-02T20:54:00.003+13:00

With the return to eight team leagues Zephyr Rovers have been relegated to Division 2 for the forthcoming season. "We put ourselves at risk by finishing ninth after a string of upset results saw teams we had beaten overtake us" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "so there are now team in Division 1 we beat but those crazy results just after Christmas saw them get ahead of us". Hall said it was a good chance to regroup and build a settled team again. "We suffered a bit from too many changes" said Hall "but obviously that 21 - 1 win was a boost to morale and we'll draft in Pete Roberts for the retiring Chopper". Hall said Division 2 would still be tough. "I recognise teams in this league have beaten us previously so it will be no picnic" said Hall "but we'll look to strengthen the team with a couple of Brazilians". Hall said the first match of the new season will be on Wednesday at the Shed of Dreams.

Rovers Thump TTW

2008-02-29T10:39:00.002+13:00

Zephyr Rovers today put on a great display of attacking football to hammer Toitu Te Whenua by 21 - 1. "The stampede started immediately and we just kept knocking in the goals" said Manager Hall "Pete Roberts (pictured) got eleven goals and although I played in goal in the first half, I got four or five as well". Hall said the biggest cheer for the day was when Toitu Te Whenua scored their only goal. "They took their one goal quite well and had a kiss and cuddle for about three minutes to celebrate" said Hall " it was about 18 - 0 at that point so they were I imagine quite relieved, but ten seconds later it was 19 - 1". Hall said that it was good to see the passing in the game. "We played as a team throughout and didn't get carried away with individual dribbling" said Hall "it was speed of ball movement and good finishing that saw us through". Hall also confirmed he wore his underwear the right way around.

Final: Rovers 21 TTW 1

Same Old Rituals

2008-02-28T10:12:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall said this afternoon that whilst he was expecting Rovers to give Toitu Te Whenua a hiding, he would still be going through his normal prematch routines including all his usual pre-match rituals. "I won't be doing anything special, just the usual stuff of praying towards Shed 1 eight times in the morning, having two poached eggs, tying my left lace first, bouncing the ball five times before I go on the pitch" said Hall "but I'm not crazy like Adrian Mutu (pictured) who wears his underwear inside out and I'm not doing a Peter Schmeichel and parrying exactly one hundred shots before every match". Hall said he wouldn't be taking on some of David Beckham's routines. "He apparently buys exactly twenty packets of noodles when he goes to the Supermarket and constantly rearranges cola tins in his fridge" said Hall "although I usually buy a dozen beer at a time so who knows if I'm going that way". Hall said as long as each Rovers squad member wore their lucky rabbit foot then Rovers should wallop Toitu Te Whenua.

Pollock Stunned

2008-02-26T21:27:00.004+13:00

Zephyr Rovers supporters club president Liz Pollock was stunned today when her favourite other team Tottenham Hotspurs finally won something. "I've been told Liz was so stunned she hasn't been able to speak all day" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "I mean she started the season just praying they'd avoid relegation and now they've won the tin pot cup, I think they call it the Carling Cup, or is that the Milk Cop, I lose track". Hall said he couldn't quite believe Spurs had made the final and can only think the win over Chelsea had some connection to Russia. "I'm sure there were a few bets on for the favourites Chelsea to lose" said Hall "it's about the only rational explanation for Spurs winning anything at all". A spokesman for Spurs said no one could believe the result and they thought in the circumstances that Toitu Te Whenua might even have a chance against Rovers on Friday. "Let's not stretch the imagination too far" said Hall.

It's Toitu Te Whenua

2008-02-24T21:20:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Rovers learnt today they would be facing feeder club Toitu Te Whenua in the next grading game at the Shed of Dreams. "We've got a 100% record against that lot and we don't fear them" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "we know Alex Natelli can come up with some unusual tactics so we'll be a wee bit wary, but we'd have to hope to win this one by at least ten goals if they play their usual squad". Hall said it would be interesting to see the gulf between Division 1 and Division 9 indoor football. "We were Division 7 for a while so we know there are good teams in the lower leagues" said Hall "we just don't thing these guys are one of them". Hall said he wasn't expecting to eat humble pie after the match. "I'm not one to gloat" said Hall "but I'll be changing that policy if we win this one".

Vacancy

2008-02-22T21:11:00.000+13:00

Zephyr Rovers Chairman George Nash admitted today that Rovers were offically on the look out for potential players who "would add value to the enterprise". "I think that's a funny way to put it" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we're basically looking for a gun striker who has a touch of Vinnie Jones in his make up and isn't a sook". Hall said that he'd settle for a budding Christiano Ronaldo (pictured). "He's a player that remind me a lot of myself" said Hall "that is he reminds me a lot of myself in my dreams where I score a hat trick for Man U against Arsenal in the Champions League final". Hall conceded the chances were slim of finding an indoor player of that ilk. "I think as long as we don't have to resign Charlie Smith then we'll be all the better for it".

Chopperless

2008-02-20T20:47:00.002+13:00

Zephyr Rovers took on Meatballs yesterday at the Shed of Dreams without the services of Colin "Chopper" McIntosh (pictured). "It was a sad day for the club and I believe Nobby Styles sent us some flowers in recognition of the occasion" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall "we were a bit soft around the park to be honest". Hall said the late disappearance of Matty Cantwell due to pre-match tension, left Rovers with late replacement Jamie Johnston. "I think we know Matty has some unique talents in dribbling" said Hall "but let me tell you Jamie has the nest left foot I've seen since Stev Wooddin". Hall said Johnston cleaned up in the goal scoring stakes and gave Rovers soem go forward. "We were a bit iffy defensively and I had a a bit of a shocker as my hand is still a bit sore" said Hall "but I think we'll be entering into negotiations with the lad about joining the squad". So a Chopperless Rovers started the Chopper free era with a win.

Rovers 12 Meatballs 7

Jones Acknowledges Chopper

2008-02-18T19:39:00.000+13:00

Former Wimbledon, Chelsea and Leeds United hard man Vinnie Jones acknowledged today the role Colin "Chopper" McIntosh had played in his career. "I don't think I'd have got quite the reputation I'd got if I hadn't had encouragement from Chopper" said Jones "I mean I got to be Welsh captain and it isn't everyone who can say that". Jones was also known for his tactics against Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne. "Yeah I learnt that trick from Chopper" said Jones "the key according to Chopper is to look inoffensive on the field as far as the ref is concenred" said Jones "but then to get a bit of quiet enforcement in on the sly". Chopper for his part was modest about his role in training Jones. "I don't recall talking to him" said McIntosh.

Tributes Flow In

2008-02-16T19:20:00.001+13:00

Tributes have flowed in from all over the world after the recent retirement of Colin "Chopper" McIntosh. "He was the premier player of his generation" said Mrs Smith of Perth "in fact he was the only player of his generation". An Australian fan was said he was a legend in Sydney "I saw him in that film and can't believe he chopped his ears off" said Bruce Price of Bondi Beach "he was one you didn't want to mess with in the tackle". The referees association also issued a statement to the media. "We haven't had an occasion like this since Chris Riddle left town" said a spokesmen who did not wish to be named "we'll probably have a few quiet bubblies tonight, but we expect Rovers to find another hard man as they always seem to dig them up from somewhere".

Chopper Retires

2008-02-14T21:09:00.000+13:00

Colin "Chopper" McIntosh announced his retirement from all indoor football this afternoon after yet another injury stuck him down in the friendly game on Monday. "Chopper has been a great servant of the club" said Zephyr Rovers Chairmen George Nash "we believe he began playing about the time football was invented and he joined Rovers very early in the club's history". Zephyr Manager Steve Hall said Chopper would be sadly missed as he had taken over from Chris Riddle and Charlie Smith as the player referees loved to watch. "He certainly somehow acquired a reputation with the referees" said Hall "although I'll remember the goals from oblique angles, particularly the one he somehow squeezed in from on the line near the corner". Hall said the club would be pleased to offer Chopper a role in the back room. "We'd love to see him in the back room cleaning boots or something but he might find that a bit of a come down after a glittering career" quipped Hall.

Bankrupt

2008-02-12T18:58:00.002+13:00

Zephyr Rovers opponents for the first grading round Kiwibank had one players available at kick off and defaulted the match to Rovers. "Seems like they didn't find out about the match until the morning of the game so their playing stock looked a bit bankrupt" said Zephyr Rovers Manager Steve Hall (pictured) "so we played a selection of players from the previous match along with the one Kiwibank players and we won reasonably comfortably". Hall said he forgot his court shoes and mistakenly tried to play in his outdoor shoes with cleats. "I had to resort to wearing my socks after I came a guttser when I slipped over whilst diving" said Hall "it spilled a bit of blood on the court but I got through somehow". Hall said it was nice to have a relatively easy outing against lower league opposition.